Hate Is Another Word For Love

Chapter 5

The pic on the side is of Bri

It's lunch. I walk out of the restrooms and take my seat at the table. Right when I sit down, Bri gets up and walks away. Ethan watches her.

"Don't turn around." Ethan warns.

"Is he watching me?" I grumble.

"Yes."

He didn't sit near me in anatomy.

He hasn't looked at me today.

It's almost lonely without him to bother me.

"Listen," Ethan says. "I'm pretty sure he's going to come over here. Just remember the guy you used to be friends with. He really, really likes you." he says. "He wouldn't get out of bed all weekend."

"He can't bully me and then expect me to love him."

"He didn't even realize he was bullying you. He didn't realize he was until you didn't fight him back in Anatomy. Just please be nice to him."

He gets up and walks to a table that Bri goes to, and then Braxton sits down across from me.

He clasps his hand together. He's looking at me, so I look right back into his eyes.

I look away when he doesn't and look down at my own hands.

I can't help but notice his hands are covered in cuts.

Hesitantly, I reach out and grab his hand. He unclasps them.

He has five cuts on his right hand and three on his left.

My fingertips gently brush over the cuts.

"What happened?" I ask quietly.

"I was doing something..." he trails off.

"Oh." I drop his hands and look back down at my own.

He stands up. I look at him and he has some were look in his eyes.

Fear? Confusion? Nerves, maybe?

"I-I-" he stutters. He reaches into his bag. "Here."

My familiar tan leather notebook hits the table. I look down at it, and when I lift my eyes to look up at him, he's gone.

I look over my shoulder and he's almost halfway across the cafeteria.

Confused, I open the book.

It was destroyed, yet all the pages are intact.

The ripped ones are carefully taped back together.

The cuts are paper cuts.

He fixed my book.

I flip to the page where I left off.

It's unfinished.

He didn't write in it.

But it is horribly sewn into the book with blue thread.

Blue is my favorite color.

He fixed it.

I can't believe he fixed it.

A wave of emotions washes over me, from shocked to surprise, to happiness.

I almost feel bad for all of the horrible things I've said to him.

Doesn't he have a girlfriend though?

I look in the direction he was walking.

He sat down at a table that people were at.

Now that table is empty.

Everyone got up.

His head is on the table.

I stand up and grab my bag. I see Bri grab Ethan's arm out of hope, a smile on her face.

I grab my bag and walk across the cafeteria, sitting across from him.

"Why do you jell your hair?" I ask.

He lifts his head up and looks around, surprised.

"I don't know." He says. "I thought all girls liked that."

I smile a little. "I don't. It looks fake."

He frowns.

"Thank you." I say quietly. He looks up at me again. "For fixing my book."

He shrugs.

"Why did everyone walk away from you?"

"Because I'm an asshole and everyone hates me."

"That isn't true."

"Well you hate me and you think I'm an asshole."

"Well I have a good reason." I say. He smiles. "Everyone doesn't hate you." I pause. "I thought you had a girlfriend."

"I did." He grumbles.

"Did?" I repeat.

"I really, really, really liked her, but..." he trails off. "She broke it off and ran after some other guy."

"Are you heartbroken?"

He shrugs.

The bell rings and I stand up.

"Bye." He disappears into the crowd.

I fight a smile.

He's sort of cute when he's shy.

****

He wasn't there Tuesday, and I almost missed his shyness.

He wasn't here Wednesday either.

That time, I did miss his shyness.

He wasn't there Thursday, and I contemplated going over there.

On Friday, I was sad when he didn't walk into Anatomy.

Now it's lunch.

The second Bri sits down, I demand, "Where's Braxton?"

I gave him a couple pet name.

I'm never going to tell anyone that.

"He's been skipping." Bri smiles.

"Why?"

She shrugs.

I sigh, eating some French fries, grumbling in my head.

Bri pulls out her phone and starts to text.

She texts all through lunch, and then I run off to music class.

"Alright guys, as you all know, the project is due next Friday, but I'm changing the date to Wednesday because the carnival is not the Friday during break, it's the Friday we get off."

Everyone protests, but he shakes his head

"I'm the teacher, I change the rules."

I sigh loudly and start to work. I've only got six songs.

This is going to take forever.