Hate Is Another Word For Love

Chapter 8

Sorry for the late update!

We took multiple photos on the Ferris wheel together.

It used up fourteen of our tickets and now we only have six, so we give them to some lady with kids and just walk around.

"What's your favorite animal?" Braxton asks, threading his fingers through mine.

"I like elephants." I say.

"Me too!" he grins.

He stops at a game where you have to throw the basketball into the hoop.

He pays to play, and he throws all five basketballs in the hardest hoop.

"Wow!" the guy says. "Pick anything."

His eyes search his prizes, and he grins and points to one.

The guy has to get on a latter.

He grabs a giant elephant. It's a blueish gray and it's too big to go on my bed while I sleep.

He sets it aside and hands the guy another five for another five balls. He misses two but gets the other three in.

"Pick anything from the top five rows." The man says.

Braxton points again.

This time, the guy grabs down a smaller version on the elephant. This one is big enough to fit in a backpack. It's as big at your average teddy bear.

He turns to me then.

"Here." He slides the giant one and the little one to me.

"Thanks." I laugh.

We teamwork carrying the giant elephant.

"The big one is for you to lay on and the little one is for you to sleep with." He says.

"Thank you." I smile.

He averts his eyes from mine and shoves his hands in his pocket.

"You're welcome." He mumbles, looking down at his shoes. "Where uh...do you want to go next?"

"I don't care. Where do you want to go?"

"We can go to the vendors...if you want." He mumbles.

He's so shy. I smile.

"Okay." I say.

He doesn't take my hand, and that's okay.

This is all okay.

We wander to the vendors and walk around.

We walk around the whole fair, and then at 9:55 we start to head back to our meeting spot.

We get there at ten right on the dot. Everyone is already there.

"Aww!" Bri says. "You won that for her?"

He nods and looks away.

"Well let's go home." Dad says.

We all head to the car.

I have to ride in the back. I lay on m giant elephant and I fall asleep before we're down the street.

****

When we got home, Ethan carried me to my bed.

I woke up though, and now I'm wide awake a two in the morning, well aware that tomorrow I'm going to New York with Ethan and Bri and Braxton.

I'm nervous.

I sigh and turn on my tablet. I click Netflix, and just as I'm about to start a movie, my phone chimes.

(802)685-3685: I need to talk to you

Me: okay. Who is this?

(802)685-3685: Braxton

Me: oh okay

I add him as a contact.

Braxton: your going to hate me

I lock my tablet screen and turn on my bedside lamp.

Me: okay...

Braxton: you know how I asked you to be my girlfriend earlier?

Me: yes

Braxton: I changed my mind

I stare at the screen.

Me: if this was a bet with your friends I'm going to beat your fucking ass for pretending to be nice to me

Braxton: it wasn't a bet. I actually really like you

Me: then why did you change your mind?

Braxton: I like you, but I don't think I love you. I know I told you I did, but I don't think I do. I do like you, but I'm scared to jump into a relationship with a girl I was a bitch to for so long because I don't want to lose you. I want us to work. I think we need to spend more time as friends rather than girlfriend/boyfriend

Me: oh

Braxton: or just nothing at all

Me: so you want to throw away whatever the hell we had tonight, if it was real at all, because you're afraid

Me: that's fucked up, Braxton

Braxton: it's just complicated

Me: no, I don't think it is

Braxton: I'm not going to go to New York

Me: whatever

Braxton: are you mad

Me: I'm actually a bit happy that you're leaving before I was fully attracted. This was never going to wor because you're an asshole and I was an idiot to think you could change.

Braxton: okay, you're mad

Braxton: i'm sorry

Me: no you aren't

I delete him from my contact. It starts to call me, so I block his number and shut the lamp off.

I turn on the bloodiest show I can find, and fall asleep, more pissed and upset than I think I've ever been.