After The Truth

Tessa Chapter 3

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⚠️SENSITIVE WORDS⚠️

I was awake the whole night, I couldn't sleep. My brain was too clouded with memories, fake memories.

No matter how many times I tried to stop crying I couldn't, I couldn't stop crying for the man who didn't love me. Who only used me for my body, some sex doll. And the worst part is that he went as far as to buy an apartment, live together. He met my fucking parents, my mom talks about him all the time..........and now I have to face the embarrassment of telling my mother about what he did.

No.......I can't. I can't tell her, I'll just say we broke things off........I don't even know.

I cover my face with my hands.

OH MY GOD!

The pictures.............the naked Polaroids we took together.

He probably showed them to everyone, oh my god.

The tears start again because apparently I'm a fucking baby, I just can't believe this is all happening.

...

I stare at the white walls of the guest room, I feel so dead. I have no energy, no will go live. No will to do anything, I just want to sleep. I desperately want sleep, but I've become attached to the pleasure of sleeping with him and now I can't sleep alone. So pathetic.

I'm exhausted, mentally and physically. At least it's the weekend so I don't have work or school, I also don't have a place to live and all my shit is at the apartment. Not to mention I don't even remember what I did with my phone..............oh wait.........I gave it to him after we.................we..............after he used me one last time in Kim's guest room.

I can't believe I told him I loved him..............I told him I loved him so much, I must have boosted his ego so much every time I confessed my feelings to him. And to think I believed him when he said it back, I wanted it to be real. I wanted to be loved so badly that I accepted his shitty promises and lies. I can't help but defend him, why take me to Broadway, why buy me all this shit.............I wonder what he used the money for..........I don't even care. I hope the money was worth ruining my life.

...

I'm able to force myself out of bed and into the bathroom.

Holy shit, I look like I got hit by a bus. My eyes are sunken in and my skin is pale and dry, my lips are red and bloody from me picking at them. My hair looks like a rats nest and my overall appearance is...............mortifying.

I don't even recognize myself, what the hell happened to me.

...

I look through the bathroom drawers and find a hair tie, I put my hair up into a bun and splash some water on my face. I change back into my dress, it smells like him. His smell gives me a moment of relief and for just a second I forget everything and just imagine that his arms are wrapped around me.

My moment quickly ends when I open my eyes and remember how much of a monster he is, I look away from the mirror and leave the bathroom. I make the bed and make sure the room I clean, I nearly fold the clothes Daisy lent me and leave the pile on the bed. I quietly leave the room making sure not to wake anyone, it's 5am. I couldn't lay in that bed, I need to get out of here.

I tiptoe into the main area of the apartment, my heels don't help. I see Daisy sitting on the couch in a pale pink press with white heels, her hair is softly curled and her face is bare but her natural beauty is breathtaking. Her freckles and green eyes along with her black hair make her look like a goddess, wow.