After The Truth

Hardin Chapter 2

I should have told her........I should have fucking told her.

I'm such a fucking coward, I can't believe I just sat there as they teared her apart. Humiliated her like that, to be exposed in front of everyone.

I never meant for any of this to happen, and now everything is ruined and there's nothing I can do to fix it. I'll never get her back, she'll never trust me after this. But the worst part is that she thinks none of it was real, that I was using her the entire time.

I swear on my mother that it was all real, all the sex and kisses and everything......it was all so real. With her was the first time I've felt alive, felt like there was something to live for.

But now she's drifting farther and farther away from me and there nothing I can do.

No way to restore her faith in me, she thinks everything was a lie. Why the fuck would I lie about being abused, how does one fake scars? I can't believe she fucking said that, she knew how hard it was for me to trust her and she has the audacity to say that I made it all up.

To be fair I did expose her to everyone, what the fuck am I gonna do. I can't lose her, I won't survive without her.

I can't breathe anymore, I don't even know what I'm doing.

I'm here on my knees crying in the fucking snow begging that she turns around, that's she comes back to me. I don't even know where she's going, she alone wearing that short red dress and no underwear. She has no phone and it's freezing, I have to go after her but I can't..........I can't.

I quickly stand and wipe my face, I run back upstairs and go back inside the apartment. I walk back into the room where we were before, I see Sam and Kim screaming.

"SAM YOU'RE SUCH A FUCKING BITCH!" Kim screams.

Kim stands up from the couch and stands face to face to face with Sam.

"Oh please, that slut has it coming. Who fakes being a virgin, she just wanted attention and now she got it." Sam says with a nasty grin.

I have to remind myself that I can't hit a girl, Kim seems to read mind because she tackles Sam to the ground and climbs ontop of her. She slaps Sam across the face several times.

"IM GONNA FUCKING KILL YOU SAM!" Kim screams.

Holy shit!

Kim continues to slap Sam before she lifts her fist and punches Sam, I can see the blood from here. I quickly wrap my arms around Kim and pull her off Sam, Kim pushes me away and pushes me back. I didn't anticipate her to be so strong because I stumble back.

"DONT FUCKING TOUCH ME! HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO HER HARDIN! SHE LOVED YOU! SHE LOVED YOU MORE THAN ANYTHING! YOU FUCKING BASTARD!" Kim screams at me.

I don't have anything to say to her.

"He isn't worth it Kim." Gavin says.

Kim slaps me across the face, I bring my hand to my cheek.

Ow.

"After everything she did for you, you should be ashamed of yourself! I thought you were changing, after everything that I DID FOR YOU! You don't deserve anything good in life!"

Kim pushes past me, Gavin follows behind her. I look at Chase help Sam up from the ground, her lip is cut and her eye will surly be bruised tomorrow. Kim did a number in her.

I move my eyes across the room to Zach, he shoots daggers at me.

"What the fuck do you want Zach! Are you happy now!" I scream.

"Hardin don't act like the FUCKING VICTIM! YOU DID THIS! YOU RUINED HER! You embarrassed her in front of everyone and you betrayed her trust! YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE!" Zach screams.

I've never seen him so angry.

"YOU THINK I LIKE THIS! IM IN LOVE WITH HER ZACH! MY HEART FUCKING BEATS FOR THAT GIRL! I KNOW I FUCKED UP OK!"

"No you DONT! You never loved her! And I hope she never takes you back!"

The rage takes over me and I can't control myself, the adrenaline kicks in and before I know it I'm punching Zach. He stumbles back before he swings at me and hits me in the face, I shake my head before I tackle him. I punch him in the face repeatedly, all I see is red.

The next think I know Zach is on top of me and he's punching me.

"WHAT THE FUCK!" Gavin screams.

Gavin pulls Zach off me, I quickly stand and wipe the blood off my nose.

Shit.

"Both of you out NOW!" Gavin screams.

Zach gives me a dirty look before he leaves the apartment, I look at Gavin.

He's my only friend, the only person I consider a friend. He's been with me through everything, him and Kim really pulled me out of a dark place in my life.

"Gavin." I say desperately.

"You fucked up big time man, I can't even help you."

He shakes his head before walks out of the room.

I look around and see everyone looking at me, I wipe the blood off my cheek before I wipe my hand on my pants. I quickly leave the apartment.

I walk back outside and walk to my car, I stare at the empty passenger seat. My hands grip the steering wheel so hard my knuckles turn white, tears pool in my eyes and I can't stop myself from crying.

I just lost the most important thing in my life.

And there's nothing I can do, and now she's wandering the city alone..........I have to find her.

I wipe my tears and turn on the car, I don't know where the hell she is but I have to find her.

...

I drive for hours and hours, I swear I've checked the entire city.

I don't know where else to look.

The last thing I can do is go back to that apartment and pray that she comes home.

...

I quickly walk into the apartment hoping that shes inside...........she's not.

I don't know why I thought she would be, she doesn't have keys or her phone or anything. I reach into my pocket and pull out her phone, she gave it to me after we had sex in the guest room. She told me not to let her drunk call her mom...........she's so sweet and innocent. And I took that innocence and sweetness and destroyed it.

I sit on the couch and stare at the front door hoping that any minute she'll walk through.

I just wanna hold her, hold her and prove to her that I love her.

...

5 hours later.

...

She's not coming.

...

I don't know where she is or if she's ok.

All I know is that this feeling of emptiness and loss is something that I didn't miss, she took away all my pain and healed me while I was destroying her. I never wanted to cause her pain, I only ever wanted to love her..........but I should have known that the villain never gets a happy ending............I don't know why I thought this time would be different for me. I don't know why I thought I would actually stay happy.

Happiness doesn't come to people like me............happiness doesn't come to those who are doomed from the start.

My own mother didn't want me, what made me think that Tessa would.

I'm such an idiot.

And here I am on my fourth beer, sitting and waiting for someone who isn't going to come.

Pathetic.

I truly am pathetic and disgusting.

...

Exhaustion creeps up on me but there's no way I'm sleeping.............I better get used to sleepless nights.