After The Truth

Tessa Chapter 33

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DAY 1

I don't like waking up alone.

I didn't sleep the whole night, surprisingly I didn't cry. I just couldn't sleep, I laid awake the whole night just thinking. Why does this always happen to me? Haven't I proven myself to him, haven't I given him enough of myself. I've had sex in every position, I've had multiple things in my mouth and I allowed him to use his. We've done upside down, we've done legs up, we're done legs down. We done front, we've done back, we've fucked hard with ropes and blindfolds. We've made love with candles and roses, I just don't know what more he wants.

I've proven myself faithful time after time, if anything he's the unfaithful one. But he just broke up with me, on a piece of paper. And what now? All I want is that stubborn arrogant man, I love him.

But he left me, I have hope he'll come back but.......I don't know. I don't even know where he is, who he's with. I'm just so tired of this back and forth, if this is what he wants then so be it. I won't beg for love.

Fuck him, fuck his sexy car and fuck him and his sexy body and hair, his smile and his eyes.

He's a piece of shit.

...

I decide to be bad and just lay in bed all day, no matter how hard to try to tell myself that I don't care about the break up, I do. My heart hurts and I can't eat, I have a headache and I'm on the verge of a breakdown. I'm a mess.

The one good thing about having a new number is that no one can reach me, my mom is probably worried and Kim is confused. I just can't do this anymore, the constant breaking up and getting back together. If he doesn't want me then I don't need him.

I say this as I lay limp in bed unable to get up.

I feel sick.

I feel like I have to throw up and eat a cheeseburger at the same time.

Maybe I'm just broken?

Eh.

....

I close my eyes and take a nonexistent nap before I check my phone and see that it's 1 pm.

I contemplate wether I should go to class, I really don't want to. I don't feel like going to work either, I don't even feel like being alive.

I look at the smeared red ink on my hand and see Brains messy writing, I reach for my phone and dial the number. It rings twice.

"Hello?" He says.

I take a breath and try to make my voice seem strong.

"Hey, it's Tessa."

"Oh, hey. What's up? You need a ride?"

I slowly sit up in bed.

"Uh no.........I'm not going to class. I was wondering if you could get the notes for me?"

It's probably selfish to ask for the notes but I have no will to do anything.

"Yeah sure, is everything ok? You sound........upset?"

And with those three words completely destroy the wall I spend building while Hardin was gone, all the tears I held in all night pour out and I becomes a sobbing mess over the phone.

"I.....................I..........he broke up with me." I mange to say.

He stays silent.

"I'm sorry Tessa, I didn't know things were so bad between you two. I hope I didn't have anything to do with it."