Prequel

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       I wish life was simple. Every day of my life I look around and see friends and strangers going about. I have to admit I'm the worst at comparing my life to others; some days I feel like I'm behind, and other days I feel alone. Did I do something wrong growing up for me to be like this? Eventually, people leave, and I'm thrown back to square one wondering what I'm doing with my life.

I've never been adventurous in life. My mind always calculates the risks before doing something and 9 times out of 10 my mind talks me out of doing something. Because of this, I think it's stunted my personal growth and experiences. See, I'm 21 and I've never been in a serious relationship. Of course, I've talked to guys and I've tried Tinder, but it's all been shallow. I feel like men all want the same thing... you know. I don't want that, at least not yet.

I want a love that knocks me off my feet. A Love so good I don't know what I would do if it ever ended. A cliché love story. Is that too much to ask? I don't want late-night "you up?" messages, I want someone to send me a song that made them think about me. I want to be someone's world.

Every year I state that "this will be the year I fall in love", but I would NEVER admit that to anyone. To those around me, I'm very hard-core "men ain't shit". I've taught myself to be independent and that I do not need a man, but deep down in my heart, I know it's all a facade. I know this comes from my childhood.

Ah yes, my childhood... typical, parents meet in high school, Dad has issues, but Mom swears she can change him. They fall in love and get married, start having problems, but of course, think a child can fix their love. Flash forward, the child did not fix anything. Dad runs around, and eventually leaves Mom and his child for another woman. Maybe that's why I never move forward from the talking stage? I don't want to commit because my father didn't commit to his wife and child.

If I never move forward in a relationship, I don't have to worry about being abandoned eventually.

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Hi!! I hope you guys like the prequel. I promise the first chapter will contain Drew, but I really wanted to give Liv her back story so you better understand her (:

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