Alive.

chapter one

Four years later -

Hanna -

I stir my cold oatmeal in utter boredom. People complain about Monday's when I found Fridays equally as horrifying. All there is, is time and time and time. Well nowadays I only have time.

I ditch my bland oatmeal for a calming walk about New York. The city is my new home away from home. After cutting off ties from my home in London, living in the Big Apple seemed an easy way to stay hidden and in the shadows. I was definitely going for the James Dean - I-don't-give-a-shit look and I totally pulled it off.

My best decision yet was cutting of that rancid blond hair that went all the way to my lower back. Instead I cut it to the end of my neck. I would tie it up in either loose braids or in a tight ponytail. Now I either let it flow down my back or tied it into a messy bun.

In ditching London I ditched all my clothes so I decided for a new look. Black. Black skinny jeans and my brown leather jacket was my signature look, even so that my colleagues stole them time to time. Occasionally I would bring out the blue jeans when I felt classy.

After making a messy bun and stuffing my phone into my jacket pocket I leave my vacant apartment for the wondrous city of New York. The busy streets and rude people were something I had been accustomed to before since I lived in the non-wealthy side of London. My accent throws people off because they expect British people to be so proper, as time passed my British accent faded to a slightly British accent with a dab of American.

Based on my attire people usually stick to the opposite side of the street and don't make eye with me, before everyone was so friendly and nice and that's what I missed, the closeness I had to people. All I am now is lonely. My appearance isn't that scary either, I only have a few tattoos but they aren't visible due to my jacket and I only have a few ear piercings and one nose piercing which is a stud. But then again I barely wore it anymore. I guess they stayed away due to the unapproachable aura I was told I have.

As I walk down the streets people give my quick stares but look away once I notice them. The skyscrapers look over the sidewalks oppressively and I search for trees. Once Central Park comes into view trees are everywhere. It's an odd sighting actually.

I bypass random families who look at me with disapproval. Some children playing on a rock whisper to each other as I go by. I feel like an unwanted celebrity. I grit my teeth inside my mouth trying not to flip shit at these noisy kids. At least their parents tried to conceal the fact that they were talking about me. My patience has slowly gone down over the years, its ironic because I was always notorious for my patience back at home. Home, funny word. More like dungeon now that I think of it. I don't have a home, even if New York has been comforting.

"Hanna?"

I spin on my heels to be greeted by a taunting pair of brown eyes.

"Hadley!" My heart thumps at the surprise.

"Hey chicka." Hadley is dressed in her usual outfit, a fancy dress with her hair done and her makeup looking flawlessly.

My ear rings when she says "chicka", I have nothing against it, it just sounds weird on my tounge. "What are you up to?" We continue on the path through Central Park.

"I saw you and have been running after you for ten minutes, God running in pumps is a curse." Hadley rambles on about the troubles of looking nice and living in the city.

"You don't want to be stuck in a dead end like London." I joke as we find a bench to sit down on.It's rigetty and won't stop squeaking as we turn to find a comfortable position.

"London sounds amazing but listen I have this huge party tomorrow and you need to come." Hadley looks eager for a party as usual. She is always bouncing at the thought of a party, especially one where her ex Jonas will be at. She is always hungry for jealousy.

"Where?" Old Hanna would back away at the thought of going to a party but she's died when her body hit that ocean and the new Hanna sprung from the water afterwards and the new Hanna never turns down a party.

"Niall Horan's house." Hadley looks at me with innocent eyes.

"As in Niall Horan from One Direction, as in the band of my ex boyfriend." I groan, he had to show up everywhere didn't he?

"Harry isn't even in the city yet, he's flying in tomorrow." I wince as she says his name.

"Doesn't mean that it won't be awkward." I admit quietly.

Hadley might of been the only one to know about me and Harry but she doesn't know how the difficulties of our relationship has taken a toll on me. Having all these emotions bottled up is aggravating. I've been waiting four years for someone trusting to come by so I can spill it all out. Don't get me wrong I trust Hadley but she isn't the type to be remorseful or helpful emotionally speaking.

"You know it was a dumb idea anyways, instead of getting drunk lets have a girls night." Hadley purposes, it almost pains her to sacrifice a whole night of sabotaging Jonas.

Suddenly the idea of getting drunk seems more than appealing. "No we should go to the party, I don't want to be a stick up an ass."

Hadley's eyes brighten. "Really?!"

I sighed, what was I doing? This was going to bite me in the ass later on. "Yeah why not. I mean I probably won't even see Niall anyways."

"Then you must come over my place to pick out stuff." Hadley claps her hands in excitement. I can tell that in the few seconds that have pasted she has figured out me and her's outfits.

"Hadley it's not even lunch time." I huff, and rest my back on the back of the bench.

"Oh I know but I want to do some shopping first!" Hadley's literally squeals.

"Okay." I laugh and allow her to pull me from my somewhat comfortable position on the bench and on the streets of New York.

I didn't know how to feel about Harry's presence in New York but I knew that I'd be temporary. I'd have to lay low the couple of days he spent here, I mean the city is pretty big anyways.

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