the love story everyone wants

???

  4:04 pm
Sunday
Moms house

i wake up, seeing my mom run out waving. finally, i'm home. the only downside part about that though is me having to leave jaden until maybe a week. god, i know its only a little bit but for me a week is like a year. i miss every second with him.
my mom jerks the door open, "hey!" she says in a joyful voice, giving me a little side hug before she starts to gather my things and drag them inside the house. jaden gets up out of the car, resting his head on the roof of it.
my mom comes rushing back outside while i barely have my eyes open. she gives me a huge bear hug, nearly squishing me to death slowly as i struggle to breathe.
she brushes my back and backs up.
"so how was traffic? i see you guys are about 1 or 2 hours late!" she says in a stern voice.
"i'm sorry about that, there was an accident on 102 and i couldn't avoid it. i'll be more vigilent and plan the directions before we go. my sincerest apologies." jaden says in a sweet voice.
i giggle, i love it when he's apologetic. its so cutesy to me and im not sure why.
i say my last goodbyes to him, hug him, making out with him to get my mom mad, and he drives off. why is it when he leaves it feels like a piece is leaving me. i still have his number, his socials to keep in contact, so why am i so worried?

i rest my head on the sofa i so roughly collapse on while my mom hands me a little carton of indonesian chocolate milk.
"are you okay sayang?" she says calmly
a quick heads up, sayang is honey/darling/daughter in indonesian. i at least think anyway.

"yep, fine. i'm gonna see if i'm ready for school tomorrow."

i try not to distance myself so much from my mom, it's just us being friends is so weird. at the moment shes like my best friend and i'm just so scared shes gonna be my ONLY friend this year. although i hate the thought of making friends, we all start some where right? i guess you can say i'm a bit anti-social. whenever someone randomly starts talking to me as they try to get to know me or just start a normal ass convo i'm over here trying to learn how to breathe again. i don't know, i've distanced myself so much from everyone and from past friends that it's so fucking hard to make new ones. but maybe it's not and it's just all in my head. but we'll see.

i walk upstairs to my room and pass my moms boyfriend. he says hi and hurries downstairs as if he was late for something.
i brush it off and walk into my room, god what a mess. i can never seem to have it in shape, EVER.
i pick up the thousands of clothes and empty bottles of water off the floor, slowly starting to see the floor again. i gather my backpack and other necessaties i may need for hell tomorrow.

oh, i'm sorry, school.
i've only liked that place twice and it was pre-school and kindergarten. after that i hated it with a strong ass passion ever since. no one likes school anyway, it's only fun if the teachers aren't assholes and if you have friends to cope and smoke with, except this year is gonna be a little different. moving to a new school isn't really a new thing to me but it's just annoying if you have divorced parents frequently fighting over your custody. for me it's been back and forth and i never seem to get a break without them trying to convince me that one another is the "bad-guy." i never see my parents as bad guys, in some situations at least. they have their ups, they have their downs. i could go from loving them to hoping they were never alive in the first place. don't blame me yet, you don't know what they do to me to make me even think that. it's not like i'm going to get into it or anything, but let's just say that they're okay. they're parenting? not the best, but i stick with it because it's kinda whatever now.

i find my headphones and blast beach house while falling on my bed back first, breathing heavily at the thought of school tomorrow..

oh god... what happens if no one likes me. what happens if everyone HATES me. i just need to make sure to not mess this up or it's no friends this year. but how would i even do that? what happens if-