this world we have built is burning down around us | Dream SMP Time Travel Fic

our ghosts remember us best in death

Wilbur did not know of his existence as a ghost, or more why he'd remained bound to the server as he was, refused the void of death when he'd deliberately chosen it.

He felt like he'd been given a test and failed.

But it didn't matter now. Only the sudden awareness did, and he felt like vomiting; unfortunately, the return of his memories did not mean he returned to the land of the living, and so he was left to suffer the pit in his stomach.

He hated Ghostbur for leaving his brother alone and isolated, for sitting in silence as Dream manipulated his brother and laughed along, for missing the signs as Tommy lost his fire and began to long for the peace of death instead of the freedom of life, for standing on the sidelines as the country Wilbur and Tommy had built from the ground up turned against him, spouting slander and vitriol towards his little brother, a child when it suited them but somehow more responsible for his actions than everyone on the server had ever been.

He hated Alivebur, too, though, the monster that even Ghostbur and his naivety saw from only the vague mentions and subtle remarks made about him. He hated him for losing himself to something as trivial as an ache for power, for lashing out at Tommy when angry, for hurting the blond because it satisfied his bloodlust and justified his own pain, for ever thinking even for a moment that his baby brother would ever betray him; Tommy had suffered at his hands in Pogtopia, had cowered when yelled at and knew the destructive path Alivebur'd been walking, and the boy had still stood beside him, loyal and faithful until the end.

Wilbur knew Ghostbur had never been him, not ever so naive and oblivious, merely of shell of himself; he was not Alivebur either, who had been a twisted, broken man who could not deal with his own pain and decided to take it out on those most convenient. But Alivebur had been someone Wilbur had let himself become, unlike Ghostbur, and Wilbur could not be excused from his sins like he could Ghostbur's.

He hated Ghostbur and Alivebur, but he hated himself the most. Two versions of himself who had played along in his little brother's destruction, therefore, it was only fitting that Wilbur be returned to himself, whole and sane, just in time to witness his baby brother's final stand.

Wilbur always knew that someone like Tommy would go out fighting, spit flying and teeth bared; he never imagined he'd be forced to witness it as his youngest sibling was put down like a rabid dog.

He did not follow Techno, Phil, and Tubbo back to the tundra (oh, but how he longed to weep with his baby brother in his arms, safe and warm for once in the forsaken life Wilbur had had a hand in pushing upon him), nor did he take the time to track down Dream's spawn point (why would he bother? Eventually Dream would return to L'manberg and he'd be none the wiser to Ghostbur's change, not in time to escape). Instead, he waited at the broken community house for those killed in Tommy's rampage to return for their items, perhaps to also see what had happened since they'd respawned.

(Wilbur noted the bodies, noted that none of the dead were amongst those on their last life. Quackity must have managed to flee before Tommy'd gotten to him).

It didn't take long, only a few minutes after his family's retreat, for the others to show up, a few strays with clusters trailing behind.

Callahan, Quackity, Fundy, Ranboo, Ponk, Sapnap, Bad, Sam, Eret, Puffy, Niki; the list went on as people returned to retrieve their stuff and others joined to see what had happened while they'd been absent. Wilbur floated amongst the carnage, eerily blank-faced as he watched them look around and then turn their attention to him.

They must not have noticed his expression, or perhaps the lack of emotion made them assume he was traumatized or confused.

"Ghostbur," Fundy started, stepping towards him, and Wilbur turned his eyes to his son (why had he turned on his uncle? Tommy had been one of the people to accept him when he'd come out, one of the people who'd cooed over his crib and rocked him to sleep, and even after Fundy's shifter genes had caused his aging to skip years, Tommy had never made Fundy feel like he had to be older than his uncle because of it).