You Don't Care

Chapter 1: A New Neighborhood

"Dare me to jump off the Jersey Bridge!" The first line of my favorite Pierce the Veil song, "King for a Day." I was listening to it on my phone on repeat until my dad and I finally made it to our new home in Hicksville. It was a small house, but it was good enough to get me away from my abusive, crazy mother. I almost felt bad for my sister, Lilly who had to live with her. Then again, she was always mom's favorite and would never feel the same for me. We were completely different and that's what my mother hated. Lilly was always the dumb blonde with the obsession of Michael Clifford from the wannabe punk band, 5 Seconds of Summer, but she was drop dead gorgeous and always knew how to make me feel like shit every day which explained why mom loved her so much. I was the typical "emo" punk girl or whatever. I dyed my hair black last year and wore eyeliner everyday. I was obsessed with almost every punk band that existed, Black Veil Brides, Pierce the Veil, Sleeping with Sirens, All Time Low, you name it. I started cutting a few months before and had an eating disorder last year. But I went to therapy and eventually started eating 3 full meals a day even though my body is still imperfect sadly. I haven't stopped cutting, but I was 2 months clean which was good progress for me. When my mother found out the kind of bands I was listening to, she wasn't exactly pleased. I guess what really set it off was when I came home one night with 2 bottom lip piercings done by my friend, Gabby. I came home with 2 rings on my bottom lip and my mother flipped. She started yelling and calling me horrible names and started throwing bottles at me that used to have alcohol in them. I ran to my room with broken glass in my hair and that was the first night I ever cut myself. On top of that, my parents were already having problems before that and that night my own mother went out and slept with some guy she met at a bar. She came home with him at 4 in the morning smelling like whiskey and smoke. She was obviously drunk. But when my father woke up and saw her sleeping in the kitchen with her new man on top of her, hell broke loose. There was constant screaming, breaking things, cursing and physical and verbal abuse. I couldn't take it.

But that was all 6 months ago.

My father moved out without telling anyone and was gone for a few months leaving me and my sister with our cheating and abusive mother. He didn't leave an address or number or anything. Just a note on my bed that said "Stay strong I'll be home soon -Dad." What the fuck did that mean? God knows. After he left for a while, my mother started bringing home more random guys at 3 in the morning and came home drunk every night. Of course Lilly and I survived that, but it was horrible, at least for me. It was easy for Lilly because she was already following in her mothers footsteps. Meeting random guys and having sex and coming home late drunk or on some kind of hard drugs. I was the responsible one in the family at that point. I cooked dinner every night and did all the house chores. I couldn't hang out with any of my friends because I was so busy taking care of the house. At that point, all my friends ignored me and replaced me. I was all alone in school and at home. My mother would hurt me physically and verbally every day if I did something wrong or said anything that would seem stupid or offensive. The only thing that seemed to calm me down besides self harm was my music. After I finished doing chores and cooking, I'd plug in my headphones and blast my music till I couldn't hear a damn thing in the outside reality. It was a great feeling to turn off the world and drown in the lyrics of my heroes and their beautiful voices. The only disadvantage was my mother would often catch me in my room and hit me for being "lazy" and not doing work around the house.

It was the worst 3 months of my life until I got a call that changed everything.

I sat in my bed crying listening to Falling in Reverse, "Raised by the Wolves" full volume and then my phone started to ring. The music paused and the caller said it was an unknown number. I picked it up and thank god I did.

Clara: Hello?

Dad: Clara? It's me, Dad.

C: Oh my gosh!! Dad? Where the fuck are you? I've been worried sick! Mom's bringing home random guys and abusing me, Lilly's not doing shit-