Insure Our Love: A LiMu Emu x Doug story

chapter three: a dark and stormy night

It was three forty-five in the morning, and Doug still hadn't fallen asleep. He tossed and turned, his wife Donna unconscious and unaware. Thoughts of LiMu had plagued Doug all day and into the night. He had no idea what he was going to do about this predicament. He loved LiMu, but he was married to Donna! He still loved Donna, didn't he? She was a good wife and he liked her company, and yet....the thought of LiMu was....intoxicating....

It was too much to handle.

Doug had to get out of this bed, get out of this house...

He closed the front door, sitting down on the top step of his porch. He put his head in his hands, frustrated with himself. "How is this even happening...?"

LiMu was also having trouble sleeping that night, and was watching Doug from his own porch right next door. LiMu sat in a fancy porch swing, hugging one of the pillows with his tiny wings. I wonder why Doug seems so sad...

When Doug started crying, LiMu rushed over to his house to comfort him. 

"What's the matter, Doug?" asked LiMu as he wrapped a wing around the human's shoulder.

"I-I just..I'm dealing with some stuff right now, LiMu."

"Like what?"

"I-it's complicated."

"Bitch what the fuck, that's the most cliché bullshit I've ever heard in my life. What the hell is going on, Doug?"

There was a strike of lightning, soon followed by a crash of thunder. Doug flinched at the unexpected noise and turned to look at LiMu who, despite being a bird with limited facial expression, looked rather concerned for his friend. "Oh, LiMu, I wish I could tell you..."

"Why can't you tell me, Doug?"

"It's just too weird..."

"Doug. Doug. I am an emu, talking to you, wearing Pikachu footie pajamas, who has a job in insurance. Everything about me is weird, I can handle whatever's going on, but not if you won't talk to me, man."

"Well...you see, the thing is....I.."

"Holy godddddd, spit it out already Doug."

"I think I have feelings for someone. Someone who isn't Donna."

"..............oh. Shit."

"Yes, 'oh shit' is right. It's becoming such a problem, I can't sleep or do anything...I just keep thinking of you.." 

"Wait..me?"

Doug blushed, waving his hands nervously. "Um! No, that's not what I meant! I don't- I don't have feelings for you!" He laughed, sounding like he feared for his life. "That would be crazy! How would that even work, anyway? I mean, you're a bird! I'm a human! It's....it's crazy..."

LiMu shrugged, something that still amazed Doug to this day considering...again, LiMu's a bird.

"Not as crazy as you might think, Doug," LiMu said mysteriously. 

"Wh-What do you mean?"

"You're not the only one who's been feeling this way. I have harbored feelings for you for quite some time, Doug."

Doug's eyes were wide. "Really?" 

With this, they shared a passionate kiss.

But then...

"DOUG?! WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU GIVING LIMU A PECK ON THE PECKER?!"

Oh, but Donna! It was much more than a peck..