Insure Our Love: A LiMu Emu x Doug story

chapter four: divorce?!?!

"I can. Not. Fucking. Believe this," said Donna, absolutely seething. She glared daggers at her husband, who she had just caught giving LiMu Emu a peck on the pecker. "Why the hell were you out there kissing LiMu? I thought you loved me!"

"I do! It's-it's complicated, Donna-"

"Don't come at me with that 'it's complicated' bullshit, Douglas!"

"It's just Doug-"

"I don't care if your name is Channing fucking Tatum, we're getting a divorce! I can't deal with a gay husband..."

"Well, I think I'm bisexual?"

"I DON'T CARE IF YOU'RE A FUCKING RACECAR DOUG! THE POINT IS WE'RE DONE!"

"...Donna, is the yelling really necessary-?"

"Yes! Yes it fucking is!"

"...and the cursing?"

"I'm pissed, okay? Give me a break, Doug."

"...okay." Doug just awkwardly sat there at the kitchen table, refraining from asking what was for breakfast despite his rumbling stomach. He listened to Donna rant and rage and he thought I deserve this.

He let her take out all her frustrations because he realized how hard this was for her. Hell, he'd only just realized how he felt for LiMu and now he was getting divorced because of it? It was hard on Doug, too, but he understood why Donna would hate him right now.

He kind of hated himself right now.

I'm so sorry...he thought, but he knew he couldn't speak right now or else he'd further anger his soon-to-be-ex-wife.

"Does Linda know?" Donna asked, finally sounding sort of calm.

"No. I didn't even know I felt like this before today..."

Linda laughed ruefully. "Oh, I bet you didn't."

"I really didn't!"

"Sure, Doug, sure."

Later that night, Linda Emu got a very unexpected phone call from her neighbor Donna...

"Our husbands are fucking," Donna said.

Linda, of course, could not respond to Donna, because Linda was an emu and thus incapable of speech. 

"I know you can't talk or anything," Donna continued, "but I just wanted you to know, so you and LiMu can discuss this."

What Donna didn't know was that Linda had known about LiMu's feelings for quite some time. In fact, Linda knew LiMu was gay when she married him. For you see, the two of them married each other to keep their families happy, when in reality they were both gay. That's right folks, Linda Emu was a lesbian. She expected nothing entering this marriage, and she and LiMu had had several affairs over the years. The two of them were best friends, and were always happy when the other came home with the news that they'd met someone. However, most emus didn't want to get involved with a married emu and would leave once they discovered this detail. This would always leave LiMu and Linda distraught. They were happy living together as married friends, but they really just wanted to find love.

And what Linda saw in LiMu's eyes when he talked about Doug...that was love if she'd ever seen it. She couldn't be happier for her husband, and had encouraged him to pursue a relationship with Doug if possible. But now it seemed things had taken a turn....