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The birds flew through that ever-developing canvas of the blues. The birds in the sky were music for the eyes, moving in a choreographed melody, and I sit and watched like an appreciative audience.
Soon they were gone and I was left with nothing but to stare into the sky which expands above like an ever-growing dream. It is the same old sky it has always been, except for some rainclouds that hadn't been there a few minutes ago. It wasn't raining, but the grey woolen clouds were still floating up there, gloomy and dismal just like what's about to come.
"Jiminie"
A soft vanilla voice fills my ears as I turn around to see my best friend's despondent face. Upon seeing his pained and pitiful expression I already know his following words. "the results are all positive, I'm sorry" he engulfs me in a hug as I welcomed him in my arms, trying my best to not break in front of him for I don't want to make it harder than it already is. "it's okay tae"
I guess this is it.
I'm on my way to the exit too, just like how my mom was taken away by cardiomyopathy.
Dilated Cardiomyopathy, an enlarged heart yet its muscle is too weak to pump blood efficiently. Can it be more ironic than this? My friends have always referred to me as an angel because I always put others before myself. What a big heart do I really have.
The doctor said it's genetic and I probably triggered it more by drinking a lot of alcohol. What can I do? I am a young and free man who's ready to learn everything about my dear life, ready to explore the entire world and see its wonders, and yet from all the beauty that I have seen nothing compared to her eyes.
I wonder if it will still look at me the same after she will know what I'm going through. I wonder if I will ever see again the glint of joy and excitement whenever she flicks through the pages. From what I see, my words have always calmed her, and I am so glad she came to me.
But today I feel like I won't see those glimmering eyes. I don't see it. Not today. Today, her eyes are probably fixed in one spot. Eyes no longer looking at me, staring blankly into space instead. Her face is likely weeping or sad. So sad that she probably let a single tear fall. I can feel it splattering above me, yet never daring to seep into my world.
I wish I could reach out to her, hold her close, and whisper comfort in her ear that I'm going to be okay.
