Kurtis Conner looked at the tiny sausage in his hands and felt cross.
He walked over to the window and reflected on his derelict surroundings. He had always loved quiet Oxford with its crooked, concerned cliffs. It was a place that encouraged his tendency to feel cross.
Then he saw something in the distance, or rather someone. It was the figure of Drew Goooden. Drew was an articulate muppet with vast toes and spiky lips.
Kurtis gulped. He glanced at his own reflection. He was a cowardly, generous, beer drinker with squat toes and fragile lips. His friends saw him as a bad, blushing bear. Once, he had even saved an encouraging deaf person that was stuck in a drain.
But not even a cowardly person who had once saved an encouraging deaf person that was stuck in a drain, was prepared for what Drew had in store today.
The moon shone like eating dogs, making Kurtis jumpy.
As Kurtis stepped outside and Drew came closer, he could see the super smile on his face.
"I am here because I want some more Twitter followers," Drew bellowed, in a proud tone. He slammed his fist against Kurtis's chest, with the force of 684 elephants. "I frigging hate you, Kurtis Conner."
Kurtis looked back, even more jumpy and still fingering the tiny sausage. "Drew, I shrunk the kids," he replied.
They looked at each other with surprised feelings, like two angry, ashamed aardvarks talking at a very hungry dinner party, which had trance music playing in the background and two gracious uncles jogging to the beat.
Suddenly, Drew lunged forward and tried to punch Kurtis in the face. Quickly, Kurtis grabbed the tiny sausage and brought it down on Drew's skull.
Drew's vast toes trembled and his spiky lips wobbled. He looked unstable, his body raw like a greasy, great guillotine.
Then he let out an agonising groan and collapsed onto the ground. Moments later Drew Goooden was dead.
Kurtis Conner went back inside and made himself a nice drink of beer.
THE END
