First Impression | Yangyang

19

"I hate the rain, but I like it a bit more today. Don't think it's stopping soon, you can soak my left shoulder" - Love Song by NCT 127

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Yangyang couldn't accept it. He had sworn that the only people he would ever get attached to apart from family were his group members, yet here he was, wishing that a girl wouldn't leave him.

Dongmei wouldn't leave? She just doesn't know yet.

Yet, he was beginning to accept that she might just be leaving very soon. Leaving Korea and perhaps, more importantly, leaving him.

"Hey Yangyang, you ok? You've been spacing out quite a bit," Kun tapped the boy delicately on his shoulder as he shook himself from his heartbroken thoughts back to reality, "They were asking what you think we need to focus on in this choreography."

"Oh uh..." He spaced out, trying to recall anything he had done. Hell, he had a life before he met Dongmei, an incredible one, one of his dreams, but now, he couldn't remember how he spent every day without this violinist, "I..."

"Told you, he's in love," Hendery smugly spoke as he planted his water bottle down on the light brown, fake-wood laminate flooring again.

Ten shook his head and casually asked the heartsick boy across from him in the circle they had formed on the ground, "What happened this time? Did she reject you again? Did she do something to break your heart?"

"Nah. It's just...actually never mind," Yangyang inaudibly muttered the last part as his voice faded into the silence of the practice room.

In any other situation, he would've gladly helped Dongmei with her English; yet with the knowledge that she was most likely going to leave, he couldn't help but feel bitter.

It had been a week since the first lesson. A week since the walls of his world began to crack. One thing he had wanted to do before the girl left him was to confess. He had already realized his feelings for her long ago yet, he couldn't let it through his vocal cords.

Just get her to stay. Simple. Right?

Yes, that was what he needed to do. Tell her not to leave him and they would be fine.

Mentally banging his head, he reminded himself that there was a reason Dongmei was migrating from Korea. For her dreams. He had recognized long ago Dongmei wouldn't fall easily like the other girls he had met in his life. A mere pretty face wouldn't do for somebody devoted like her. It would take somebody extraordinarily vital in her life to modify her self-decided path, even in the slightest. She knew what she wanted and she went for it.

Come on Yangyang, be more optimistic. Wordlessly encouraging himself, he closed his eyes in hopes of a brief refreshment of his crowded, thoughts. He got none of that, only a deeper dive into that sea of anxiety.

>>><<<

There was that mysterious, unwanted feeling again. It was creeping in Dongmei's veins, yet she didn't know why what she was doing just felt so wrong. Was it doubt? Or was it guilt? She didn't know how to label this cryptic emotion that flowed through her.

This is a big opportunity. 

That's what she told everybody. And everybody believed her, except her. She was beginning to question what she was doing. Her life was beginning to feel so wrong. She had no idea what was off about her decision.

A logical person, her decisions were always based on what was best for her. It had never failed her. It got her here, all the way to this valued milestone where she had precious work already.

But here she was, beginning to question whether she should take this opportunity or not. The old Dongmei would've emotionlessly agreed and swiftly fly over to the US without a single doubt. What had changed in her?

"Huang. You're blanking out in the middle hallway," A student reminded her as she desperately clutched onto her bag for something to squeeze her stress onto.

She never blanked out like this. Never had the composed violinist ever done that. After all, there wasn't much need to when she could just go the logical way. Draw a T chart to weigh out pros and cons, making any decision off that.

Never had Huang Dongmei ever made a decision based on her emotions. Whether she was happy or not didn't matter. Just life.

"Oh. Right. Uh, yeah," She nodded and stepped sideways to get out of his way, walking towards her class. There wasn't an overwhelmingly large amount of students flooding the hallways but there was a decent amount as classes began.

Just stay in reality for a few seconds. You didn't come to Korea just to daydream in the middle of the hallway.

She slapped herself mentally to look forwards into the familiar hallways. A thought occurred to her from her previous ones. But you didn't come to Korea to leave.

The day she arrived here was a nostalgic one. One she would never forget and would voluntarily live over and over again if she was given the option to.

Dongmei remembered how she was grasping onto her violin case as she walked into the school in awe.

Approaching the receptionist, she put on a nerdy smile and said a quick hello.

"Are you perhaps Huang Dongmei?" Was the first question she heard as she nodded excitedly. It was a new beginning for her. "Here's your guide to this school. There's a map and your dorm room card is here."

She was handed a leaflet and a card, which she both held tightly, "Alright," She said in her rather broken Korean. 

"Chinese? It's ok. We have a lot of international students. Just go to your dorm for now. Settle in. A welcoming assembly and guide will be done at 6pm," The receptionist spoke quickly with a tight smile.

"Ok."

Dongmei loved to look back on that first day, a story she would read over and over without end. But now, she was nearing her last day. Her final day in this place that had become home over the last two years.

Her hand rested on the door of the classroom, pushing it open to the room she had become so familiar with.

All good things had to come to an end, but did that apply if she had the easy choice not to end this? 

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ouchhh not the conflict  ;-;