🎋3. She Ruined Me

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Author: AlienboyfriendTae

Reviewer: phoenixfelcon

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✔︎Cover: 1/5

Firstly, you changed your cover without informing me. You can't change your cover once you've given your book in a review shop or an award show. Secondly, the cover was extremely simple and did not really have any connection with the story till the latest update. As far as I can remember, the pictures were also very hazy. In conclusion, not a very eye-catching cover. 

✔︎Title: 2/5

A very confusing title. I mean, how did she ruin him? I know the story isn't completed yet, but still, I think the title isn't very innovative; it's cliche, lacking originality and substance. You have to give a title that would lure your readers to your story. A title that would cause readers to notice your book, read the first chapter and then give the story a chance to bloom. So, fix the title first. 

✔︎Blurb: 5/5

The blurb was perfect, it wasn't over-emphasized either. It did intrigue me to read and find out what exactly and how exactly she ruined him; like, in a good way or a bad way? It was captivating. 

✔︎Grammar: 3.5/5

Now, this is very important. I've divided the Grammar part into two sections so that you understand properly:-

i) Spelling: 1/2.5

There were numerous spelling mistakes. Countless silly spelling mistakes. It seemed like you were typing out the words very quickly and it's all a mess now. Even Taehyung's name isn't spelt right in many places. Also, so many typos. Slow down, see what you're typing, check once before publishing. I was liking reading the story, but those innumerable spelling mistakes and typos were exceedingly disturbing. 

Also, there was a major problem in your writing: you were switching POV's. You are writing the story from a 3rd person's point of view, but in many places, you've mixed up. For example, in one place you've written "Taehyung drops one knife and flexes my shoulder". It should be "his shoulder". There are some mistakes like these where you've mixed the POVs. 

There are also many tense mistakes. For example, in one place "Taehyung lunged at the mule and swing his arm". It would be "swung". Another one "Kaiser slap Jungkook's cheek". It should be "slapped". "The guy was undoubtedly their enemy as he shoots a smirk then drop his weapon". The correct way would be "he shot a smirk then dropped his weapon" - this sounds better - try to make the sentences more beautiful. I had jotted down only a few, but there are still infinite mistakes like these.

ii) Vocabulary: 2.5/2.5

Your way of phrasing sentences was satisfying. You have a good vocabulary and the words you've used to describe the scenes are quite noteworthy. But, again, the typos and spelling mistakes totally ruined the atmosphere. 

✔︎Detail: 4/5

It wasn't vague nor was it exaggerated much. But one thing here: you've used the words "the man in the ocean eyes" too much. I would suggest you use those words only a few times in the beginning, and then just mention his name. Also, I would suggest you focus more on their feelings and emotions. You know, that would help the readers to connect more with the characters.

✔︎Plot and Originality: 8/10

The plot was different. I also loved how Taehyung and Lily got to interact with each other because of the plot. I wouldn't say that the way you narrate the story is unique, but it does have a fresh interpretation of familiar concepts. If you come up with more ideas and new perspectives and insert them in your story, then I think it would be good enough. 

✔︎Flow of the story: 4/5

It wasn't rushed. The movement of the story was quite smooth from the start. I loved how Lily waited after her boyfriend cheated on her, and she didn't jump over to Taehyung. And also how they both secretly care for each other, but don't really wanna show that at first; how they both like each other but Taehyung also doesn't rush because he knows that Lily just caught her boyfriend cheating on her and it wouldn't be alright if they rush things. 

✔︎Did you enjoy reading? 3/5

I did. But the spelling mistakes and typos truly ruined my mood. Frankly speaking, I would've enjoyed reading a lot more, if those silly mistakes weren't made. I can't tell you much about the spelling mistakes, you've to be very careful when you type. But goodness, the typos. Please correct them as early as you can. If you need help, I would be glad to help you out. 

✔︎Personal Review:

I wholeheartedly support your plot because it's quite different from the ones I've come across. I even enjoyed reading it, keeping aside the flaws. Just watch out for the typos and spellings, and you'll be on the right track. Slow down when you're typing, don't rush. Check it before publishing the chapter. Just correct the mistakes, and you'll do great. Since the plot is good, just stick to it, correct the mistakes, and your story will work. I hope my review helps you out. 

Thank You! 

Total Marks: 31.5/50

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