Hera's Olympus

2

Now in the 21st Century.

"He just leaves in the middle of the night! When I ask him if he went somewhere— he blatantly lies to my face!" Mrs. Baros blows into her tissue while her husband rolls his eyes.

"She is being dramatic. She just jumps to conclusions!" He argues, brushing her thoughts away with a flick of his wrist.

"Jump to conclusions?!" Mrs.Baros stands up and fumes until she throws the box of tissues at Mr.Baros.

"Mrs.Baros," Hera speaks calmly but firmly. "Please take your seat and take calming breaths. In and out, yes, good. You're doing good." Hera jots down some notes about the couple and then looks at Mr.Baros. "Mrs.Baros doesn't seem to be jumping to conclusions for no apparent reason, so is there something you're hiding? If there isn't, then you should be able to tell her where you've been going."

Mr.Baros turns defensive. "I haven't been going anywhere. I am in the house."

"Bullshit! I look everywhere for you! I even go outside! The only one still awake is the neighbor—." Mrs. Baros's jaw drops. "The neighbor." She curls up in her seat and covers her mouth with the palm of her hand.

"Helena, no. It's not what you think," Mr.Baros tries to touch his wife's shoulder, but she smacks his hand away. "Is it true?" She asks in an audible whisper.

"What—"

"Damnit, Alex! Are you sleeping with the neighbor!? Yes or no!?" Mrs.Baros is screaming in his face now.

"Mrs.Baros, do not be physical and let him respond," Hera motions with her pen for Helena to sit down.

Helena tries to compose herself and nods, waiting. She refuses to look at him.

"I– we were just talking, and things just happened." He sounds apologetic.

"You really did cheat on me. We have a son— Alex, what is he going to think of this!?"

"I know, I'm sorry!"

"I am done! Doctor Ariti, I'm done. Excuse me and apologies for wasting your time."

Hera stands and approaches Helena. "Would you like to think some things over? Are you sure you want to go through with this?"

Helena nods. "I'm divorcing him by the end of this week." She brushes off her soon-to-be ex-husband when he tries to reason with her, marching out the door.

"Helena, please think this through!" Mr.Baros runs after her, leaving Hera alone.

Hera closes the door and walks back to her desk. She opens a cupboard and slides out a bottle of red wine and then a glass cup. She pours a generous amount and leans back in her chair, one leg folded over the other. She lets out a deep sigh and takes a drink. Her lips part slightly, and she slowly nods, a sly smile taking shape. "As she should."

"I smell alcohol," a pretentious god sings.

Hera raises an eloquent brow at Dionysus. "I swear, you only ever show up when there are drinks to be served." She glides her hand across her desk to one of the chairs. "Sit if you'd like."

"Don't mind if I do," he shuts the door, drags a chair and sits across from Hera. He declines the second wine glass, prepared just for him and takes the bottle instead. "So, who left their husband or wife?"

"I'm not naming anyone, but he did deserve it." Hera takes a sip from her glass, feeling righteous.

Dionysus chuckles. "Did you even try keeping them together?"

"Of course I did. It's my job to attempt to amend relationships. They just didn't work out." Hera shrugs.

Dionysus is silent for a moment. "Marriage seems complicated."

Hera watches him curiously. "Yes, it is."

"What if. . ."

"If what?" Hera prompts, cup in her mouth.

"What if I got married?"

Hera quickly leans over the table, wiping her stained chin from the surprise. "Married? You? How absurd."

"How rude. I could get married," Dionysus says, pretending to be offended.

"It's hard to imagine you with anyone since every week you're with someone new," Hera remarks.

"Ey, I like to have fun, unlike somebody in this room," Dionysus says boldly.

Hera glares at him. "What's that supposed to mean, Dionysus?"

"I'm calling you a bore, duh," he rolls his eyes and drinks from the bottle, loving the drama he just insinuated.

"A bore? I am not boring. I'm just not childish, like you," Hera scoffs.

"That's what makes me fun, Queen Hera."

Hera scoffs. "Whatever." She looks out the large window to the right and thinks about how society has built over the decades. And humans are still stupid.

"I'm wondering," Dionysus suddenly says, "what if we made a little wager," Dionysus smiles cutely behind his bottle, a gleam in his eyes.

Hera sets down her cup and gives him a pondering look, silently telling him to continue his proposal.

He eagerly scoots to the edge of his seat. "Okay, since we're talking about marriage and how you're boring as fuck—" Hera tries to protest, "no, shoosh. Let me finish," Dionysus laughs. "So, what if we have a competition? You try to get laid, or whatever gods do at your age." He pauses to take another drink, Hera glaring at his utter audacity. "And, dashing young me will find someone fortunate enough to marry me."

This makes Hera laugh. "How fanciful." Hera contemplates his idea. Well, there isn't any harm or foul, and I definitely haven't aged like a prune.

"Hera, I'm not sure what to make of your death glare, but I see this as a good sign," Dionysus chuckles, trying to ease the tension.

Hera smoothens her face, taking a breath, leaning back in her chair with a hand gently clasped to her chin. "Fine. One month will be the time limit. If one of us succeeds before the other, then they have to," Hera smiles slyly, "steal aegis."

Dionysus sputters. "Zeus' fucking shield?! Excuse my language when I say this, but has your head gone up your ass?!"

Hera glowers at him. "It's becoming annoying how casual you speak to me."

Dionysus holds up two fingers with pouty lips. "Fuck the monarchy."

Hera rolls her eyes. "Anyways, if you're going to forfeit, then you might as well march up to Mount Olympus."

"Ha! Very coy of you, Hera," he says sarcastically. His gaze then sharpens. "Don't think I'll back down from this little game. I'm confident that I'm going to win."

Hera leans forward. "Let's see how long you can keep up the charade."