Hera's Olympus

5

Eileithyia is consoling her mother, but Hera isn't having any of it.

"Men are beneath me!" Hera shouts. "All of them should go extinct. Women don't need them! Fuck reproduction!"

"Mom, I'll be out of a job if you keep up that mindset," Eileithyia grimaces. She waves for another round of drinks. "Just leave the bottle," Eileithyia tells the bartender, who watches Hera with slight fear.

Hera grows somber. "I'll always be alone, Eileithyia."

Eileithyia frowns at her mother's words. "Why do you say that?"

"No man fits my standards, and I don't fit in a man's standards." Hera rolls her eyes in disdain.

"Hera," Eileithyia says sternly. "You are a queen. You aren't meant to fit in a mortals checklist. You know your worth, and you're worth the heavens riches." Eileithyia slams her hand on the countertop. "You put the King of the Gods in his place, shamed him, humiliated, and burned his ego! I wish I could've done that!"

Hera laughs softly. "He was just your father. You could leave. I had the misfortune of being his bride." Hera then grows angry. "Years wasted with a man who never even loved me for me." I was just his trophy on display.

"Hey, don't look now, but I think you have another suitor," Eileithyia winks at Hera and leaves.

Perplexed, Hera looks over her shoulder and sees a skittish-looking man, not dressed to impress. He looks casual and out of place but having a good time nonetheless.

"Hiya," he starts, taking a step closer. "Mind if I sit here?" He points to the unoccupied chair.

Hera is curious about him and nods. "Not that one, though. I spilled my drink onto someone there."

Argus laughs. "Who was the unlucky guy?" He settles himself in the dry chair and looks at Hera with interest.

Hera smiles, liking his cute demeanor. "Well, he tried to woo me, but his perverse attitude was a definite turn-off. So, I knocked over my drink–"

"Maybe it even left a stain," Argus nods his head, cheeks puffed.

Hera laughs a little. "Why is your face like that?"

"I was hoping it would make you laugh– also, you look very young to be a mother, by the way." Argus frowns in curiosity, hand holding his chin. "You from another planet?" He grins.

Hera shakes her head, smiling. "No, also, my son isn't biologically mine, but I did raise him for a good portion of his life, so he thinks of me as his mother, and I think of him as my son."

"That is very sweet. Wow. Do you mind if I ask more about how you two met?"

"Not at all."

~~~~~

"Then, he just faceplants into the water in an X position." Hera covers her mouth, giggling at the memory. "When I asked him if he was okay, he just swims away– like a frog!"

Argus bursts out laughing. "A frog! This makes Ares seem so much less intimidating." Argus waves and crosses his arms in front of him, losing it. "How old was he?"

Hera shrugs. Older than you. "I'd say around sixteen."

"Don't tell Ares you told me any of this, or else he'll actually throw me off the roof," Argus laughs, wiping a tear from the corner of his eye.

Hera raises a brow. "What? Did he threaten you beforehand?" Hera means this as a joke but is surprised when Argus nods.

"Oh yeah. Walked up to me all serious and said," Argus deepens his voice, "Hurt her, and I'll put you on the news." Argus laughs it off. "He was probably joking, though."

Hera keeps a blank face then nods. "Yeah, that sounds like my son."

Argus's eyes are wide, lips pursed. "Has he actually thrown someone?!"

"Recently?" Hera smirks at his distress.

"Hey, no. Don't mess with me like that!" Argus sees through her ploy. He covers his face with his hands. "Ares is pretty scary already, Hera."

Hera laughs. "Don't worry. I'll tell him not to touch you."

Argus smiles. "That will be appreciated."

Hera looks around for a clock and notices it's 3 a.m. "Oh, I should get going now."

"Dang. I was hoping you'd stay a bit longer," Argus puts his elbow onto the counter, his head in his hand.

Hera can't help but smile. "You'll see me again." She stands up and sees Argus's jaw drop.

"You are a tall woman." He gets out of his seat to compare heights with her. "I'm tiny!"

Hera leans towards him, his voice getting caught in his throat. "I think tiny is cute." Hera then stands straight again and quickly spots Ares; she waves and points to the exit. Ares nods and is speeding towards freedom.

"Could," Argus's voice cracks, making Hera giggle at the sudden noise. "Sorry," he laughs. "Could I get your number?"

Hera is speechless for a moment, then nods. "Yes, but I don't have anything to write with."

"That's okay. I have a good memory span," Argus winks, pointing at his head.

Hera is amused and carefully tells him her phone number. "Did you get that?"

He nods. "All the digits."

"Okay, I hope to hear from you soon," she waves goodbye.

Hera spots the limousine outside, Ares waiting by the side door. She enters the vehicle, Eileithyia watching her with an eager expression. At the same time, Ares starts the limo and pulls away from the curb.

"Soo?" Eileithyia asks, nudging Hera with her elbow. "Tell me the bits."

"We just talked," Hera rolls her eyes, looking out the window.

"Really? You were laughing at everything he did. You were head over heels for this man!" Eileithyia throws her arms up in outrage. "Tell me you at least got his number!?"

Hera stays silent but slowly grins. Eileithyia sees Hera's reflection and gasps. "Yougothisnumber!" She shakes Hera by the shoulders, squealing. "I'm so happy for you!"

"Yes. He was very nice." Hera smiles. "It felt like I already knew him."

"Aw, that is so sweet," Eileithyia puts both hands on her chest.

"He's okay, I guess," Ares adds in.

"You shut up. You dated Aphrodite!"

"It was a fling!" Ares shouts.

Hera chuckles at her children's bickering. She then glances outside and frowns when the skies gradually begin to darken. "What's gotten up Zeus's ass this time?" Hera asks herself.

"A buttplug," Ares answers bluntly.

Eileithyia chokes on air, and Hera purses her lips to keep her composure.