Of Gifts And Courting (Tomboo)

therapy and burger joints

Tommy woke up sometime in the mid afternoon, he groaned and curled up in his nest. He still felt heavy and he wondered if he could just slip back into sleep for the rest of the day.. no no he couldn't. He had a therapy session scheduled for today and if he keeps flaking out it'll become a habit and it's only a matter of time before puffy gets sick of him. He might as well not push his luck.
He took a deep breath "fuuuuuuuuuuccckkk" and he got out of bed.

Therapy is supposed to help him get better at least that's what he's heard it's supposed to do and he wanted to be better. Puffy had told him his first session that therapy wasn't a magical fix it. That some trauma would never fade, and that she could do her best at every session but if he didn't put in the effort to help himself where he could nothing would get better.

It was scary honestly, recognizing he had even some agency in his own happiness now, that not everything is out of his control anymore and that he himself had some stuff he needed to work on. But he appreciated how straight forward puffy had been about it. He appreciated that about her, she was soft with him but she didn't coddle him especially whenever he acts like a dick because he feels hurt. She understands and helps him but she doesn't enable him. He wondered, not for the first time, why she put so much effort into a fuck up like him?

He stepped outside of his dirt hut and hissed at the glare of the afternoon sun blinded him for a second. He once read that the mask raccoons had reduced the sun's light or something like that, he wondered why he didn't have that as a raccoon hybrid. 'Fucked over by my own genetics' he thought bitterly.

Eventually he made it to her office and he hesitated at the door. He was late.. really late. And normally he didn't give a shit about people being disappointed in him i mean it's not like they had any faith in him to begin with but it's different with puffy and he hated letting her down.
He took a deep breath and went inside, he was hit with the cool air of the building and the sight of puffy idly reading through something.

She looked up and she smiled at him, not at all upset "good afternoon tommy!" She greeted

He shuffled his feet glancing at the ground then to her "I'm uh.. I'm sorry about.. being late." He said finally

"Thank you but there's no need for an apology" she assured "we still have a good 30-something minutes of our session, take a seat?"

Once he was seated she started "how was your day today tommy? Did you get caught up in something?" Tommy first thought was to get defensive that she the question was passive aggressive and she really as upset with him for being late. "Look I wasn't-" he scoffed tensing up and glaring at the floor "I didn't mean to be late okay- it's not like I did it on purpose-"
"Tommy it's wasn't an accusation" she interrupted firmly so he didn't get ahead of himself.

Tommy's face flushed, misplaced self righteous anger being replaced quickly with embarrassment and fear.
"right right right- shit I'm sorry- I just assumed- I know you wouldn't-" he rushed out
"Tommy, take a breather" she told him gently and he did, taking deep breaths in and out to steady himself.
When he was done he looked to puffy who spoke again "I'm not upset with you tommy" she started "It's easy to act rash when you feel like you're being accused of something." She noted "but you need to keep in mind that just because you feel like you're being attacked that it doesn't mean you are."

"Thats what it feels like a lot of the time actually" he buffed bitterly, she didn't speak again so he continued "I just don't get it, how- how everyone has these simultaneously huge and low expectations for me. Like they expect me to be a hero, to be a good little soldier boy and fight the good fight at the same time they expect me to ruin everything and fuck up and I never know how to please them or defend myself and they all hate me!-"