A Spark of Hope

Chapter 18- You Are Valid

The days persisted as normal. No one noticed...  no one cared. Layla shouldn't have been surprised, yet she still was.

Walking through school was as horrible as usual. Jasmine's friends had only gotten worse, shouting insults her way at every chance they got. Even the classrooms weren't safe anymore.

"Get out of my way loser!" Riley shouted, shoving her backwards straight into her locker. Layla had never wanted to disappear so badly.

"Why do we still have to see your ugly face?" Teresa laughed, rolling her eyes.

"Still upset Jasmine won?" Monica mocked.

Jasmine never joined in, but she never stopped it either. She would watch with no expression, like she was having an internal conflict that just couldn't be resolved.

Layla was used to it.

Home wasn't much better, it never was anymore.

Layla entered the house after a miserable day at school, moody as she usually was. She just had to get to her room, back to her comfort place.

"Stay out of the kitchen Oliver!" Janice's shouts echoed throughout the house.

Oliver ran in, giggling. His eyes immediately lit up at the sight of Layla. "Layla! You're home! Can we-"

Layla walked right past him without a word. It was like he wasn't even there, like she didn't even see him. 

Oliver stared after her, his eyes turning glassy. He couldn't understand what he had done wrong. 

"Layla?"

Layla fled to her room, locking the door behind her. Immediately she threw her backpack down, laying on her bed. Why was she such a horrible person? Why wasn't she good enough? Why were the voices so loud?

She had tried so hard to force them out. To resist. But nothing worked. No matter what she did, the stars still called out to her like they always had. Why wouldn't they just let her go? Let her forget her dream? Why wouldn't they just accept it? It would make everyone's lives easier... to live normal like everyone else. 

The voices only grew louder, drowning out the stars. That was somehow worse.

"You're not good enough."

"No one supports you."

"No one cares."

"Jasmine deserves the credit."

Layla's voice was barely a whisper. "Stop."

"Hope should be alive, not you."

She was just so tired. Tired out everything. "Please."

"It's all your fault!"

"You should have noticed!"

"Selfish!"

"Leave me alone." she whimpered, curling in on herself. She felt so trapped in darkness with no way out. No one to save her. "I can't-"

"I'm right."

"You know I'm always right."

Layla cried out, the pain that she had been feeling for so long. "It's too much! Why did you have to leave? Why couldn't I have..." she paused, feeling the tears fall. "I-I should have been there! I should have done something... How can I ever live without you?!" She continued to sob, her body trembling.

And suddenly the voices were people... people she loved... people she cared about...

"Stay out of those art classes. I'm not wasting my money on them. Why can't you just find a normal hobby?" David's voice was undeniable.

"I just wanted to make you proud..."

"Stop lying to yourself! You're not an artist. Just move on!" Jasmine huffed in annoyance.

"How? Please tell me... how do I move on?"

"You're beautiful, isn't that enough? Why do you have to dream yourself as something else?" Janice asked, Layla could practically hear her confusion.

"Why don't I feel beautiful?"

"Please look at the stars again! I miss the person you used to be." Kylo begged, his voice struck with guilt.

"I can't- I'm sorry-"

"Why can't you just be happy? Why can't you just accept yourself?" Cameron begged her.

"I-"

"Where are you?" Oliver's voice made her heart break. "Why can't I find you?"

"Olives-"

It was all too much. "I can't do it! I can't-" she sobbed, her hands falling to cover her ears. Why couldn't they just go away? Where was Hope when she needed her?

"It's all your fault!"

"Selfish!"

"Worthless."

"Not good enough."

And suddenly another voice could be heard. Softer... gentler...

"You are enough. You are valid."

"You killed your best friend!"

"You didn't know."

"You should have noticed!" the voices were quieter somehow.

"I should have told you."

And suddenly Hope was there. She was actually there. Wherever there was. She was there.

"It's okay. I'm here." her voice was hollow, but still warm.

"Hope?" Layla looked up, her glassy eyes widening. She couldn't be seeing things right.

"Yes."

"But you're gone." Layla shook her head.

"I'm still here." Hope smiled, reaching out towards her.

"You're not here... you can't be here..." 

"But I am-"

"NO!" Layla screamed. "You're just here to mock me! Stop! Make it stop!" She burst into tears, holding her head in her hands.

Hope reached out her hand, like they always did. Layla slowly looked up, instinctively reaching her hand out to meet her. 

They were frozen for a moment, just enjoying each other's presence. And for a moment, just a moment, everything was okay. The voices weren't there. Layla didn't hate herself.

Hope rushed forward just as Layla did, embracing her tightly. Layla let out loud sobs once more and Hope held her, even tighter. "I'm here Layla, I'm here." she whispered.

"I'm sorry! I should have been there! I should have-" Layla sobbed.

Hope cut her off. "Shh... it's not your fault. It never was."

They sat there for minutes, maybe an hour. But eventually Hope pulled Layla to her feet, taking her by the arm to lead her somewhere.

"What are you doing?" Layla sniffed.

"I need to show you something."

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Hope you liked it!

Hope you have an amazing day!

-Snowy