dear diary,
I wake up and see that my face has been smothered with yet another pillow, another attempt at killing me made by someone else at the orphanage. I simply remove the pillow tied with string and throw it in the pile of other failed murder attempts. I scream "NICE TRY BUT IM STILL HERE YOU B-" and I get cut off by the sounds of gunshots.
our caretaker is back from a long night of bar hopping.
he returns, shooting at our bedroom ceiling, and we all run and hide. he throws his trash into our room, and disappears.
I put on my barbed wire uniform that our master makes us wear. it cuts up my skin when I wear it, but I can't really feel the pain when I pour gasoline on myself and take a few drugs. we are ready.
me and my orphanage companions who also try to murder me in my sleep get ready for the job ahead. we have been trying to escape out of this piece of crap apartment for five years. ever since our caretaker's pet killer iguana had a heart attack, he fell into deep depression.
today will be the day.
our caretaker has a meeting with hitler, and it's going to last approximately 4 hours and 20 minutes. we are preparing to get out for good. we grab our black duffel bags from under the beds and jump out of the 38 story building.
our caretaker's guards immediately start shooting in our general direction. half of us are wounded and some are dead, including TreeBark, one of the girls that tried to kill me in my sleep. it almost made me tear up a little.
we keep running through the city, guards not backing down. we run and as we run we shoot at the guards with our machine guns and throw grenades at them. but some mysterious gas comes out of no where, knocking all of us out cold. the only thing I remember is the guards tying me to a tank and dragging me away...
I wake up tied to a giant spinning wheel. My vision is becoming clearer. I can't believe it. our caretaker was jeffery dahmer the w h o l e time. he was my role model. I had all the jeffery movies and merchandise. I prayed to jeffery every night, thanking him for the life I've been given.
I snap out of my illusion and now there are flaming arrows being shot at me by my caretaker. I laugh at his face and spit on the ground. the spinning wheel starts to turn and I get knocked out again. but I managed to hold my breath for 12 minutes. new record!!
