Weird [Dan Howell AU]

PT. 14

Dan's POV

I sighed as I reached my doorstep, I held the knob with hesitation. I couldn't face my parents with a black eye, and beaten face.

Most importantly, I couldn't face my brother. What will he think seeing his older brother with a beaten complexion? I don't want him to see me as some role model but I knew he did.

I remember he wrote a paragraph for his role model project. I have it hanged in my wall after all, I thought back to exactly what he wrote as I sat on the steps of my porch.

My brother Dan is my role model. Even though I always call him a nerd, he is the best. I want to be as tall as him, and funny. I like his hair, and how he makes it straight sometimes. He made my hair straight once but my mother yelled at him, my mom tried to yell at me too but he told her not to. I want to be as strong as him, even though he can't pick anything up he is strong to me. I like his voice too, it is so good I think. I want to be smart like Dan, he is really smart and uses big words. I want to use big words too so people think I am smart too. My brother Dan is the best brother ever.

It was the best letter anyone had given me. I knew his teacher might have corrected some of it and helped him write it. Although he was only ten, he was very smart and I knew it.

I just don't want him to see me like this. I don't want him to see me getting into fight with stupid dickheads, and being depressed all the time. I don't want him to grow up thinking I'm a monster who yelled at his parents. If I'm his role model then he'll want to grow up like me, and to be honest I'm no role model. I'm so torn up about my sister that it had mentally destroyed me.

I don't want him to be as weak minded as I am. I just don't want to disappoint him because I'm not the perfect brother he wrote about.

I can never be the perfect brother for him.

I heard the door open and I turn to see Sam with his wavy hair put up, he stood there with an unfamiliar young girl. I'm guessing this girl had done his hair, and she did a good job because it looked great. It complimented his face structure in a way, better than the side fringe he adapted from me.

"Dan, why are you outside?" My little brother asked me. The girl smiled at me and I looked down in shame.

"I'll be inside in a second." I said looking in front of me, trying to avoid both of their gazes. The darkness of the night and lack of moonlight covered up my black eye and bandage well.

"No, come inside." Sam demanded stubbornly.

"I can't." I argued back. I was too worried, this girl will probably think I'm some trouble maker, bad boy when I was just some stupid mess of a teenage boy.

"Come on, Lily and I made cookies." He begged and I sighed. I wasn't good meeting new people, but my brother was a natural born people's person. I got off the porch steps and walked to my brother with my face held high.

I mean I should teach my brother to be confident when dickheads mess with him.

"Oh my god, what happened to you?" The girl asked, covering her mouth in shock. My brother looked at me with fear. I mean it was just a black eye, with a bandage under my eye.

"I kind of..." I searched for an excuse. "Slipped and hit a table corner." I said, I cringed thinking f how painful that sounded. The girl shook her head, and my brother gasped.

"Are you okay?" She asked and I closed my eyes before nodding.

"Yeah." I answered but I quickly turned to my brother.

"Who did you hair, nerd?" I teased, trying to mess with it but he quickly slapped my hand away.

"Lily helped me. It looks good, right?" He asked looking towards me for approval.

"Oh wow, it does look good. I wish my hair looked like that." I said in disappointment and he smiled widely as if he had won a prize of some sort.

"I'm Dan by the way." I introduced, holding out a hand to the girl and she shook it.

"Lily. I'm kind of babysitting Sam, your parents are out." She said, her dark skin reminded a bit of Beyonce's. She wore some jeans, and a shirt with Captain America on it.

"You did an amazing job on his hair. You have some serious skill." I complimented her, looking at Sam again. He ran inside and I saw him look in a mirror. I smiled at him in adoration, he really was the gem of the family.

"Thanks, he's such a pleasure. You must really love him." She pointed out.

"Yeah, he's the only sibling I have left." I sighed, thinking of my sister. Lily looked at me with a bit of pity.

"I'm sorry about your sister." She said and I nodded, brushing a peace of hair out of my face. My parents probably told her, maybe even Sam.

"Thanks." I said and she smiled at Sam who ran back to us.

She looked so happy, and full of life. I envied her a bit, how she still had the innocent glint I once accessorized, but it's lost. A glint that still was in my brother's eye, and I'm planning on keeping it there, for as long as possible.

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:)

UNEDITED