Weird [Dan Howell AU]

PT. 9

Anna's POV

"He's gonna win! I bet my money!" Phil said as the lobsters continued to fight. Dan laughed loudly as I jumped in excitement.

Yes, we had decided to come to pet store and make the lobsters fight. The lady who was monitoring us laughed.

"Excuse me." She said and we all looked towards her as she laughed again.

"Yes?" Phil asked politely as she stared at the lobsters again.

"They aren't fighting guys, they are making babies." She said and I burst out in laughter as Phil blushed. Dan coughed awkwardly as he stared at the lobsters again.

"We should be betting on who comes first..." Dan said and that only added to my laughter. The lady laughed as well and Phil couldn't help but smile.

"I bet it's the guy." I said as I stared at the lobsters up close. I felt a pair of hands pull me away from the scene, and the person began covering my eyes.

"Anna, let them have their privacy." Dan said sarcastically and I giggled.

"I thought this was where you get free porn." I said with a small pout.

"Stop it you guys!" Phil said, I grabbed Dan's hands and took them away from my eyes and looked at Phil who looked bothered by the uncensored talk.

I held onto Dan's hands, just so he wouldn't back away from me. He just smelled too good.

"Phil, I thought you would like some free porn." I teased and he hit my side, as a way to get me to shut up.

"Yeah Phil, free porn is the best porn." Dan said, I let go of his hands and walked towards Phil. I wrapped my arms around him and nuzzled my face into his neck.

Why does everyone smell so darn good?

"If you want free porn you can ask me anytime Philip." I said pulling away and hitting my hip with his.

"Trust me Anna, that is a call I would never make." Phil said and I laughed again. The lady had left by now and the three of us had forgotten the lobsters.

"Dan would make the call, wouldn't you Dan?" I said, and Dan laughed again a tiny blush reaching it's way to his cheeks.

"Yeah of course." Dan replied sarcastically, I put an arm around his waist and he put it over my shoulder.

"You guys are so weird." Phil said with a laugh.

"Why are we even talking about sex?" I asked and Dan laughed.

"I don't know." He said and I looked behind me to the lobsters again. Dan removed his arm from my shoulder and I removed it from his waist. The lobsters had gone their separate ways.

"They've finished." Phil said.

"I wonder who came first..."

"Anna!" Phil yelled hitting me in my arm as I chuckled.

--

"All I'm saying is if Beyoncé asked me to have sex with her I would caress her ass." I said as I video chatted with Phil.

"I just asked you if you liked Beyoncé or Lady Gaga. I didn't want some weird sex related answer." Phil groaned and I ran my fingers through my hair.

"Phil, would you pick your mystery girl or Beyoncé?" I asked him.

"Mystery girl obviously." He answered.

"What? No one is prettier than Beyoncé!" I said and Phil shrugged.

"She is." He answered, I narrowed my eyes.

"Can you tell me who she is? I want to know if she is prettier than Beyoncé." I begged and he only shook his head.

"I'm not telling you." He said.

"At least compromise." I suggested and he thought before nodding.

"If she agrees to be my girlfriend I will tell you." He said and nodded.

"I'm not happy with it but it's as close as it'll get." I said with a pout as I heard my mother calling me from downstairs.

"Gotta go, love you!" I said in a teasing tone and he rolled his eyes with a small smile.

"I love you too." He said and I smiled quickly signing off the chat. I closed my laptop and ran downstairs to eat dinner with my parents.

Phil has met a girl that he claims is better looking than Beyoncé? I had to find out who this girl was and there was only one way to do it. Pester him until he told me to shut me up.

"You're always chatting with Phil Annie." My mom said using my nickname.

"He's my friend Mom." I said, helping her set up dinner. My mother and I are close, ever since my sister left, we wordlessly knew we both love each other more than my father or my sister. Other than my mom's boyfriend William, who was really nice and caring, we had no one else to rely on. My sister has lived with her boyfriend, now fiancé, for three years.

In a way I felt abandoned by her, because she was, in a way, my best friend. Even more than Phil is. She watched me grow up, had inside jokes with me, similar hobbies...we were the greatest friends. The minute she turned eighteen she left with her boyfriend to live somewhere else and now I can't stand her at all, and her cheap idea of perfection. She told me I would die alone if I didn't find a boy before college. She wanted me to worship her but I never did, she just lost a place in this family.

"Where's Will?" I asked and my mother smiled when I said his name.

"He's working late today." She said and I nodded.

Well today was a weird day, and it made me dread tomorrow's party.

A/N: I have a new Dan AU called Mind Games, it's kinds a smut related book so if you aren't into that then move on, and if you are then read it I guess