Weird [Dan Howell AU]

PT. 6

Dan's POV

What was that book called? I thought off the top of my mind, as I stared at the stats from my bedroom window.

Oh yeah, The Fault In Our Stars.

I felt like Augustus because I too feared oblivion. I didn't want to be forgotten, I didn't want my family to tell my brother to get over me. If I died by someone else's hand I would want justice. My sister lays in her grave with the word 'Injustice' written within her soul. I could imagine her with Angel wings, staring down at me with sadness. The imagine seemed beautiful but my corrupted mind quickly changed that, she began crying blood, and her unheard screams filled my ears.

I had let her down...and I can't just stand here knowing that. My family had asked me where I had been when I came back from Phil's house, only thoughts of Anna and her bright smile filled my mind. I wanted to flip a coin to decide if she was my type or not. I couldn't tell at all,one moment she seems too happy and the next she is perfect. I was a confused young guy just awaiting High School to start in this small neighborhood in New York.

My family said they were worried and I just burst out, letting my bottled up anger out and about. I was angry at them, they didn't care about my sister anymore, why should I trust them to get me my justice if I were to die? My trust in them was broken, my little brother was in a confusing state. His ten year old brain wasn't ready for the reality of this situation. He thinks our sister was just murdered, he doesn't know what happened...what went on for two days.

I felt tears behind my eyes as I thought of all the details I was given when they told my family what happened. Gruesome details that would stay with me forever.

After I locked my mother out of my room, Anna walked into Phil's room, and began to change. I don't know why I don't look away, probably my teenage brain was looking for a bit of nudity. Or maybe I was attracted to Anna in a way but I couldn't date her. I couldn't get into relationships right now, I just can't.

She wouldn't want to date a mess like me, a boy who was searching for pieces of his broken trust. Anna had things going for her and I couldn't lay my problems on her to solve for me like it was an Algebra test she had limited time to finish. I had to do this on my own without dragging anyone down the drain with me.

The wedding flashes through my mind, I had promised to attend with her if she proved she was a good person. I wouldn't bullshit myself by saying she wasn't the kindest person I met, bedsides Phil. When she hugged me I felt like a puzzle piece was fit in place and she smelled of coconut which is now my favorite scent. She had already accepted me and I wanted to accept her too but my thoughts kept me away.

--

Curiously, I walked down the stairs in the middle of the night I walked down. I told myself I was getting a drink but unreality I wanted to spy on the neighbors, and see what was going on with Phil and Anna.

I wasn't surprised when I saw them cuddling, even though it was hard to make out in the dark I knew they were probably dating. They were in love or something, and I was just there as some form of excitement for them. I rolled my eyes when the word 'threesome' flashed through my mind. I highly doubt any of us would agree to some sexual compromise.

That was...weird.

I drank my glass of water thinking over life, which I knew would push me into another one of my existential crisis'. I heard laughter of teenagers outside and decided to peak from my curtains. I looked out and saw a group of males. One was tall with brown hair, the other two were blonde. They seemed like the typical troublemakers. I couldn't make out their conversation as they laughed, pulling up their hoods. They walked over to Phil's house and peaked through the windows and laughed.

"Phil and Anna?!" One boy yelled loud enough for me to hear, I frowned a bit but turned away, shuffling back up to my bed. It was completely wrong to spy on someone but I'd be a hypocrite because I had been snooping as well.

I knew my nightly strolls wouldn't be effective in this neighborhood. Considering the large amount of teenage boys walking around looking into peoples houses.

This neighborhood wasn't something I liked or hated. I guess I could say it's weird.