Who are you?
Why do I always see you stealing glances?
Why do I always see you no matter where I am?
Until I got used to seeing you everywhere.
It is as if destiny makes way for us to meet.
--
Why don't you want to get out of my mind?
Why are my eye...
Today is my first day as a sophomore in High school. I have an underarm haircut level with a hairband for my new look.
Last year, I had been using a hair tie and never did hanging loosely my hair that can reach my lower back. So starting today, I decided to free my hair from my ponytail.
-----
I am now at Moomoo National High School with my eldest sister, she is graduating this year.
Since she found her new classroom, she is helping me now to find my new classroom too.
To be honest, I am a shy person and not so talkative unless you will approach me first. That's why my big sister is helping me, she knows that I am shy to ask for help from others. I am still like a baby that needs help and can't stand by my own.
I had a few friends before, but still not so close to them. Sometimes, I felt alone even when I was with them. It wasn't like I am not friendly nor talkative but.....I didn't feel them, and it was like I'm not belong to them.
-----
Right now, I am sitting at my chosen chair near the classroom front door. I didn't want to be seated here, but do I have a choice? I was late and because of this, all the chairs at the back were occupied.
I see half of my classmates from first year are inside of this room, even some of them who bullied me. I still remember those times where my eldest sister went to my classroom and defended me from bullies. I am her baby so that's it.
I think my teacher is already here.
"Good morning everyone!", she greeted us.
"I am Hee-jin Choi. I will be your class adviser and your English teacher as well. I hope everyone will have a good interaction before this day ends. Thank you!", Ms. Choi said.
She requested to introduce ourselves too, but in English. Currently, her subject is English, so we need to speak in that language too. Some of us are sighing and some are rehearsing their speech.
No one dares to look at the front, afraid to meet the eyes of our teacher. No one wants to volunteer and at this moment, my heart is beating fast, maybe she will call me first because I am near beside the classroom do----
"Okay!! We have a volunteer now. Please, give your attention to her." Ms. Choi said.
Thank God! She volunteered! I still have time to rehearse my introduction. I said from my thoughts.
"Good morning Ma'am Choi and good morning classmates! I am Joo Hyun Seo but you can call me Seohyun. I am 13 years of age and my habits are singing and dancing. Thank you!", Seohyun said.
Everyone in the class is clapping and the boys at the back are giggling and admiring her. Why not? She is smart, pretty, and tall. I guess she will be our class president again this school year or muse if ever.
A few minutes ago, the class started to make a noise because half of us were done with the task.
"Quiet class! I can't hear your classmate!", Ms. Choi raised her voice and glared at us. "Please, continue". She said to my classmate who stopped in the middle of introducing himself.
"So, what do you see yourself 10 years from now?", Ms. Choi started to ask to get the attention of my classmates. Everyone in the room became quiet and I felt my heart beating fast again.
"What do you want to be?" she asked.
"What do you want to be an engineer? she asked again.
"Who is your inspiration to achieve your dreams?" she asked again.
Until she saw me and made eye contact with me. I want to run but I need to do this. I stand up from my chair while inhaling deeply and then breathe out heavily before looking at her.
"Good morning Ma'am Choi and good morning.... cla...ssmates." I said nervously.
"I am Yong Sun Kim, 13 years old and I love to... to sing", I whispered the last 2 words. Just enough for my teacher to hear.
I don't know why but the crowd became quiet and in my peripheral vision, I saw them clearly focusing and listening to me.
I was about to continue what I am saying when Ms. Choi interrupted me. "So...? Whom do you want to spend the rest of your life with?".
Come on! Why this question? I didn't expect this question. Wait... let me think... I said from my thoughts.
"Ahmmm..... I want to..... I want to spend......ahmmm", thinking for the next right word when Ms. Choi cut-off me once again.
"Do you want to spend the rest of your life with your family or with your......SOMEONE?". She said confidently while smirking at me.
My classmates are starting to laugh and tease me.
Oh God, please help me!!! I am so nervous.... I want to end this now... I shouted to my mind.
"Family...?", I would like to slap my face. It sounds like I was questioning my own answers too.
"Why?", she asked me once again.
I couldn't look into her eyes. I looked down and started to hide my face with my hair. I couldn't help it. God knows, I wanted to answer her questions but at the same time......afraid that my answer would be wrong. I don't have the self-confidence to build a rightful word. I couldn't think straight, and I didn't know why but I just wanted to disappear in front of them.
Everyone is waiting for my answer, but no words are coming out of my mouth. This is embarrassing, it is the first day of class, first subject to be exact and I wanted to go home now. I feel pressured right now....
"Okay Ms. Kim, please take your seat". Ms. Choi disappointedly said to me. My classmates are laughing at me while the others are feeling pity on me because I couldn't give an answer to a simple question. I'm not that dumb but maybe, I'm not good at speaking.....
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