reminiscence

Ninety-One

I couldn't gather myself to walk into The Mist right now. I knew I was ruining things for Connor and his big surprise but I needed a moment. I was breaking down.

My vision was staring to become blurry a I fumbled to sit on the curb.

I couldn't believe my relationship with Niall is over. I messed it up just like I mess up every relationship.

He hates me. I'll never fix this. I've lost him.

I'm sure my makeup was streaming down my face by now mixed with tears but I didn't care. My chest felt tighter and tighter as I gripped it wanting to rip the feeling out. I knew what was coming.

"Bells you coming?" Connor asked as I heard his heels approach behind me

"Ummm... no ... just" I couldn't breathe the words not coming from my brain. I felt myself start to panic.

"Woah ok. I'm not good at this!" Connor crouched next to me "Last time I set you off ummm ... Niall!" He screamed as he was the one to calm me last time

"No....no" I waved grabbing on to Connors arms in fear as Niall was the last person I wanted but it was to late as Niall came rushing from the building.

"Bella?" He stood in shock looking down at me now death gripping onto Connor. My eyes wide in fear and my body shaking in panic.

Connor looked up to him in uncertainty not knowing what to do as tears kept streaming down my face and I was starting to hyperventilate.

"Ok.. ok darling" Niall said taking over Connor's spot crouching down and gripping my shoulders "you need to calm down"

"No I fucked up.... I lost you... I can't fix this ... you are my world and " I rambled

"Deep breath" Niall couched me through a breath "Don't worry about me right now. I'm not going anywhere. Worry about yourself. We can't lose you ok?"

I nodded looking into his blue eyes to ground myself.

"Ok so I want you to do something for me can you?"

I nodded through focusing on my breathing that's helping somewhat.

"Good" he smiled bring a hand to cup my cheek and wipe my tears "Close yours eyes"

I hesitated looking at him but he nodded letting me know it's ok

"Ok think of the open field, my secret spot, the one I took you on a picnic to"

"Mmhmm" I nodded seeing the field in my mind. The trees that were once green were know shades of red. Leaves starting to litter the ground,autumn was approaching, my favorite time of year.

The wind blew through a pile of leaves, the sound of familiar laughter coming from with in. Niall's laughter.

A smile crept on my face as I imagined him and I running through the leaves. Such a childish thing to do but being friends for ages can bring that out in you.

I imagined him picking me up and spinning me around as he kissed me. Like nothing was wrong between us. Our bodies fading into the leaves with more laughter and kisses.

"You're safe with me. Alright love?" Niall asked pulling me from my dream state

It worked. I felt my heat beat slow and I could breathe much easier.

I opened my eyes to see my friends staring back at me. I completely forgot in the moment they were there.

"Im sorry guys" I croaked