reminiscence

Twelve

"I'm so ready for bed, I thought this night would never end" the night turned into a busy one. Maybe it was because I was one hand down. I was looking forward to sleeping after running around on my feet all night.

It was 3am and me and Hudson just got off work. He was quiet on the way home listening to my stories of the night but giving me no response.

Hudson slammed the door shut behind him. Making his way over to the fridge pulling out a beer, one of his nightly habits recently.

"You're quiet babe" I said wrapping my arms around him as he took a swig of his beer.

"Why where you flirting" His voice was cold sending shivers down my spine.

"W-What?" I buried my face into his back

" Don't play fucking dumb" He turned pushing me away and into the counter behind me. "You're stupid but not that stupid" he spat getting in my face griping my sides. "You fucking flirted with pub boy, the minute he walked into the room"

"I wasn't flirting Hudson" my voice came out shaky as I was biting back the tears.

"Bull shit! I saw you, did you forget I was there." He took a step closer to me getting in my face "If you think that he will love you more then I would then go ahead there's the door!" He pointed to the door screaming in my face.

He stepped back letting out a frustrated groan. "But if you think that you are so naive because no one will ever love you're worthless ass!" He shoved me again my back slamming against the counter sending a pain through my lower back. He grabbed his beer walking away to sit on the couch. "Sometimes I don't know if you're worth it"

With tears in my eyes I walked into the bedroom laying on our bed. Not even worrying about changing out of my clothing. I know I shouldn't be crying but my tears kept flowing. I was worthless, ugly, and no one deserved me. He was right. I ran my fingers over my back . Wincing at the pressure. I tossed and turned for hours trying to sleep away the pain. I was trying to win Niall's friendship back, trying to get something we lost back but maybe it's over. Maybe I should just give up. Was it really worth it?

After awhile, I felt the weight of the bed sink and soon was being pulled into Hudson's arm

"I'm sorry" he said into my hair holding me close "I love you , you know that , you just pushed some buttons tonight. I told you to be more careful. Please listen to me babe" I could smell the beer on his breath.

" I'm sorry" I sobbed into his chest. " I know you love me"

My back was in so much pain but I pulled myself out of bed. Reading the clock it was 3 pm. I've slept the day away. My head was throbbing so I made my way to the bathroom to retrieve some painkiller. Searching my medicine cabinet for the strongest relief. As I reached for my medicine bottle my phone rang making me jump. I raced back to the bedroom picking my phone up off of the side table. I saw Niall's face flashing on the screen. Should I answer. I let it ring a few more times before reluctantly hitting the answer button.

"Hello"

"Hey Bells, good afternoon"

"Morning actually just woke up"

"Never were a morning person" he said laughing

I laughed along feeling a pain in my back that immediately brought tears to my eyes. I looked down at the bottle of painkiller in my hand needing to take some quickly.

"What's up Ni?" I asked opening the bedroom door looking for Hudson before exiting.

"Just checking in on you, how's your hand keeping up?" I looked down at my bandaged hand. I completely forgot about it. That was the least of my pain at the moment.

"Oh ... Um hurts a bit but I think I'll live" 

I made my way into the kitchen not seeing Hudson anywhere. Thankfully.
"Well that's good. Hoped you would

live." His laughter rang in my ear " What are you up to today"

I poured myself a glass of water
taking two pills out of the bottle.

"Don't know actually. It's my day off so probably just relax, got a few books I need to finish" I throw the pills down my throat. Felling them burn as I took a drink of water.

"Hmm sounds fun" He was silent for a moment. "Actually I was going to ask if you would want to come over for a drink tonight?"

It was my turn to be silent. My stomach twisting into a knot. I took a deep breathe. Niall asking me to hang out like we use to wasn't something I was expecting so soon. When we  weren't quite old enough to be drinking we occasionally stole a beer or two from the fridge and would stay up chatting all night. Letting go of out teenage problems that seem not important nowadays.

" yeah I can, I'm free" 

"Great. I'll pick you up at 8. Does that work?"

" yeah .... whatever"  I suddenly got nervous. Remembering I would have to tell Hudson where I was going. Maybe I shouldn't have said yes. I got to excited and didn't think it through.

"You alright darling ?" He picked up on my nervousness "I mean you don't have to.."

" no.... no Niall" I tried to sound more happy. "I'll see you then alright?"

"Alright Bells ... take care. I'll see you tonight" 

"Bye Nialler"

I sighed as I hung up my phone. Making my way into the living room still searching for Hudson.

"Babe?" No response. I shrugged it off figuring he must be at the store or gym.  The rest of the afternoon I spent on the couch with a book in my hand. Not having any energy to move. It was 7:30 and Hudson have yet to return. I decided to leave him a note.
I'm going to a friends house tonight , don't wait up for me. Love you missed you today.

I signed it with a heart and my name before placing it on the fridge with a magnet where I knew he would see it.