My Life Story. (Mental Health Awareness)

Am I?

It's been a year now. Am I meant to forgive him? After what he did? Am i meant to forget about it? Because everyone is saying I need to forget about it and move on, but, it scarred me man. It truly did scar me. And I'm just meant to forget about it? I still have flash backs and its literally been a year. A whole fucking year. My mental health is still struggling, and it's getting bad again. But, I STILL don't tell anyone shit. No one gets it. No one understands. Its fucking hard man. It's like I'm drowning but I know how to swim. I know the right words to say, I just can't get my vocal cords to say them.

You know what? I still ask other people if they are okay. I still check up on people even though no one checks up on me. Its a fucking pain. And i make sure that everyone is okay until i even have a thought about myself, because, I don't care about myself. As long as other people are okay, I'm okay.. Right? 

If I try and express how I'm feeling, I'm attention seeking? Right? If I tell someone how i actually feel, they will just say "same". THEY DON'T FUCKING UNDERSTAND. I can't be around drunk people without almost having a panic attack. I can't hear loud banging noises without having traumatic flashbacks from those nights.

You're probably wondering who I am, well, I'm about to tell you all about myself in just a second, but first... You must remember, no matter what you are going through, no matter how many insecurities you have, never, be rude or mean to an innocent person, for no reason. Because, that's when it isn't okay..