Normal// skephalo fanfic

[11-12]

⚠️throw up, self hate, eating disorder,mention of sh/⚠️

I took a couple more bites of the chicken and I rolled up my pasta in my fork and ate it. It tasted so buttery and salty all I could think about is how much sodium and calories were in that fuck. I tried to cut the chicken up in little pieces, but the knife was dull.

It was hard to cut the chicken in general. Not Yet cut up the whole thing into small parts.
'I'm going to gain weight' I say in my mind. My head started to panic, Fuck! I needed to get this out now! . Stupid mother fucking voices.
Skeppy you are not getting up to throw up your food, I told myself.

I looked down at my stomach. It made me feel sick. I couldn't hold back the urge anymore I had to do it. "Bad I'm going to the restroom, I'll be right back."

He lifts in his head up and looked at me confusingly "didn't you just go?" He asked me confusing.

"Yes sorry, I need to go again I'll be right back though" I sat up from my seat pushing in the seat that I was sitting in for manners, and walked to the bathroom calmly even though every inch of my body told me to run there.

I shut the door more loudly then I intended to clearly on the edge of a panic attack. I went to the mirror, And looked at my reflection. I lifted my shirt up not wanting to see if the food put visible weight my stomach..

I opened my eyes hoping my stomach was skinny but it results didn't go to my favor. I.. looked h..huge. I felt disgusted with myself. I faught with voices inside my head to the point where I couldn't just ignore them anymore.

I walked over to the toilet and kneeled down debating for the last time if I should do it...
Eh, what's it gonna do it will only make me feel better about myself.

⚠️Skip to ⏹if throw up is triggering for you⚠️

I put two fingers in my mouth putting them in farther I reach the back my mouth my eyes started to sting, tears started to form and leaked out. My stomach reacted quicker then I expected and I started to gag, I felt feel fluids come up and I removed my fingers quickly. I
did it again..and again..and again, until my knuckles were red. "Get your shit together Skeppy go clean yourself." I got up and quickly washed my hands and mouth. Now my throat was sore, great.
⏹⏹⏹⏹⏹⏹⏹⏹⏹⏹⏹⏹⏹⏹⏹

I stood up and made my way over to the sink. I turned the faucet on. I made sure I cleaned off my face and my hands a couple times. When I felt clean enough I flush the toilet and I walked out opening the door.

I froze, bad was standing outside the door, his face full of worry. 'Bad! ..u..uh why u..m why are you standing h..here?"
He came closer to me and look at me with a more worried expression.

he then said something I hoped he would never say. Something I dreaded and was the only reason I hesitated to move in with Bad.
"Were you throwing up?"

"..."

"Skeppy?! Please tell me I just heard wrong!"
".."

....................

He came and embraced me in a hug.
I felt tears dropped on me. I was so confused did he hear me? How did he know? I should of been more quite, 'f..fuck' How could I be so stupid! look what you've done. But.. that didn't explain why he was crying..