#MBT Pt.1

Chapter 21:

Taehyung's POV:

I woke up feeling my head a little bit dizzy. I sat down and reached for my eyeglasses, but it's nowhere to be found.

Then all the memories yesterday, came back to me.

I felt my chest tightening around my heart. It fuckin hurts. The truth hurts. Jungkook, he wants to eliminate me and make me suffer that much. That is why, he even paid men just to raped me or what. And for that, I'll never forgive him.

I looked at my own reflection at the mirror.

"You are one of the most beautiful woman I've ever seen in my entire life."- those are Jimin's words that gave me the confidence to live without fearing about other people's judgments.

I smiled at that, but then...

"You're a slut! ____________ You whore!"- my tears begun to fell off.

"Then, just die! Why are you still living here with me, huh?! You're acting like an angel, but you're just a fuckin slut for everyone, right?!___ *his eyes shows madness* You're disgusting."

His words are a sword that can cut my heart into pieces, and a knives that is directed to me, to stab it in a million times that'll make my heart bleed until I die.

I cried and cried and cried, as I kept on hearing his words inside my mind on repeat.

"Taehyung, why can't you just die just like what he wants? What every body else wants?! Why? Why are you still living a life like this?"- I asked myself.

I tried to find my secret notebook and started to write something there.
.

Dear Eomma,

Can you come down for me for once and take me with you, instead?  I only wanted to die, but why is living harder than dying? Why can't I just die, if being alive means like this?

Eomma, I don't think I belong to this world. I don't think, this life is for me to live. I'm just... I'm just too weak, to live and survive alone in this kind of world. Please~ Please, eomma. Save me, save me in this world by killing me. Coz to die is much more sweeter than to live in hell.

Please~

I have done my morning routine. I have to face this even if it hurts. I can't leave him right now, because I don't want to cause anything else to my father. So, it only means that I have to endure it. I have to kept on living inside this house though I don't belong here. Just a little bit more time.  Just... I looked at my phone and read my home screen. It says:

"Don't die just too soon. If you feel like living is worst than death, then live a life like it's your choice. Because, when real death comes. You don't have a choice whether you want to or not. But you're alive, so as long as you're living. You have your own choices in life. So don't DIE YET."

Those words always comforts me. It's like a mind therapy. It relaxes me whenever I read it.

"I'm good for nothing..."- I spoke to my own reflection. "But at least, you are good in enduring all these pain right?"- I smiled bitterly. "Tae~ You have to live in order to die."

I came out of my room to be met with the one and only Jeon Jungkook who is right in front of my door, as if he's hesitating or something.

"U-uh_____ Y-you d-done?"- he asked still eyes fixed on the floor.

See? He is disgusted with my presence.

I just give him a nod and turned my back away from him.