hotel suicide // 5sos au

07

I was with Ashton.

I sat in the chair near the nightstand.

I watched as he paced back and forth and around the room.

He was mumbling words under his breath.

He looked at me, and I saw his eyes gloss.

Brown green orbs, the mixture of tones that constantly remind you of safety and home, were coated with tears as they slowly fell onto his pale cheeks.

He looked at me with such powerful emotion, you could almost firsthand feel the hopelessness and the tidal waves of sadness swallowing you in.

"Have you..just...have you ever had everything..everything you could have wanted..and it made you feel like you had everything at the tip of your fingertips, that you just take for granted..but in the worst times of your life you find those suddenly cruelly snatched from under you leaving you to fend for yourself conpletely?" He asked, in a strained, tired, sad, croaked voice.

"I," he continued. "I had everything I could have wanted. I had a nice family. I had a girlfriend. I had a good job. A good house. A good car. An overall good life. I was cruising the streets of life in such a calm, easy, relaxed manner, always have been, and then I thought I always would be. Until it happened".

"My buissness started to slowly and painstakingly fail. I had lost all the money I got from the buissness. In a span of 2 months I was broke. My girlfriend had left me after. Turned out she had never loved me at all, just the amount of success I used to have. I was devestated when she left without showing any sympathy or anything of that sort, the girl I spent all my remaining time with that i'd completely forgot about my parents. The two kind people who raised me. And my two young siblings whom I still love with all my heart. The night she left was the night all 4 of the closest people dear to me died. Someone had left a burning match in the patch of grass where father had left an oil spill of gasoline that leaked all the way into the house that set it and all the 4 of them into ablaze. I rushed to the sight as soon as I was contacted, but in such a rushed, panicked circumstance i'd accidentally crashed my car into another that led me to the hospital where I remained for 8 months in a coma. When I woke, I had discovered that my mansion had been ripped off my name and had been taken in for the inability to pay the debts I had with the once sucsessful buissness and my hospital bills. After I was discharged, I fell into a deep depression that led me 3 days after to here. With the remaining very little money I had left, I got a cab to drive me here, checked myself in, and with a gun I had kept in my coat and the white piece of paper and ink pen, I wrote the 'sorrys' I was too late to say and I shot myself in this very room".

He fell to his knees and sobbed hysterically.

"Father! Mother! Lauren, Harry! Please forgive me!" He screamed hopelessly.

And while this happened.

I saw it.

The events that took place lastnight.

I was no longer with the sobbing ghost boy Ashton.

I was seated and taken back to a decade ago.

I looked around,
The curtains were a grand white with gold flakes,
The bed was covered in silk white bright sheets.
The stacked ashtrays were empty, ready to be used.

The room was bright, with two lamps on either side of the two nightstands that stood beside the king sized bed.

My feet grazed the soft carpeting as the door flew open.

In stumbled a wrecked Ashton.

That looked exactly the same.

But livelier.

I could hear the beat of his heartbeat.
The only thing I can hear.

He closed and locked the door.

His eyes downcasted to the cabinet under the TV rack.

He opened it and took out 6 bottles of vodka.

He downed them all at once.

I saw him get a chair and a noose, he was going to hang himself,

But my eyes followed and he stepped down.

He reached for the beside papers.

And with fresh tears and muffled sobs escaping his lips he wrote his suicide note.

He left it on the dressing table where it to this day remained undiscovered.

I saw him get positioned into the middle of the room as he took his shotgun from the pocket of his trench coat.

He put it against the side of his head,
And shot himself.

As soon as that bullet went through his head and lodged itself into a wall, I watch him, bloody, fall down onto the carpet creating a pool of red blood that would later stain. I could no longer hear the beating of his heart.

All I heard was silence.

I was speechless, I couldn't move after having just witnessed such a traumatic event.

But I reached for the newly written suicide letter and to my utter surprise, I see an 'A' just a big captialized 'A' in the middle of the white paper.

I looked down onto my wrist where I felt the same abrupt shot of pain.

R- 'A'.

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Dedicating this to infinityhemmings because she's such a sweetheart and because I am yet to find the dedication button on the new wattpad feature thang <3