Haven't Slept Since Sunday - Anderperry

Saving Myself

"I'm going out for lunch today," I told the others as we sat in the common room. Charlie looked up at me, raising his eyebrows, "so you hit it off with the girl I set you up with then?" He asked but I ignored it and sat next to Todd who was once again writing in his notebook. I tried to peek over - to me it looked like he was scribbling some stars around words which I'm assuming were lyrics - but he quickly pulled the notebook away. "Sorry...I was just interested," I said apologetically, and he shook his head as if he was telling me it was okay. He shut the notebook and put it down, "I'm going out for lunch too. I'm going to go visit my brother," he announced and Charlie pouted and did some ugly puppy-dog eyes, "we're breaking up?" He said with a fake whiny voice and everyone laughed at him. I looked at Todd when as he laughed which only dragged out my joy. He looked at me too and for a moment we smiled at each other.

I arrived at Marion's house slightly before I was supposed to because I'm very conscious of time. Being late scares me very much. To my surprise, she was the one who opened the door, which was not what I had been expecting. "Hello Marion," I said, giving her a smile and a little head nod. Suddenly, she flung her arms around my neck and held me closely, "Hiiii Neilllll," she said excitedly with a giggle. She was always giggling. After inviting me in, she took me immediately to her bedroom, dragging me by the hand. She sat down, not letting go of my hand, which caused me to follow her movements and sit down with her. "Uh, a-are you alone?" I asked, looking around her colourful bedroom. Personally I didn't think it was a very good idea to leave a teenage girl alone in a house, "Well my father is at work and mother took my little brother to football practice so yes I'm alone...it's just us," she told me, putting an uncomfortable emphasis on the last two words. "Oh...well...who's making lunch?" I asked half-joking and laughing awkwardly. She didn't seem very amused by my joke.

"You look very nice today Neil," she said out of the blue. "Oh...uh...th-thanks," I said awkwardly, when all of a sudden she kissed me. I was very surprised and didn't kiss her back so she pulled away and looked at me with a sort of confused expression. "Sorry...I..I just wasn't really....expecting that," I mumbled, clearing my throat. This whole situation felt very uncomfortable and I scratched the back of my head. "Well if I ask you you'll be expecting it won't you?" I shrugged and nodded because I guess she was right, I just didn't really want to kiss her. "So? Can I kiss you?" She giggled but all I did was look at her. At first she was smiling but I watched as her face slowly began to drop, "you don't want to kiss?" She asked and I sighed, "it's not that I don't want to, it's just, well...it feels wrong. To be in a house alone with a girl, in her bedroom, kissing her...don't you want to wait until we've gotten to know each other?" I told her, trying to be polite, but she didn't seem to be very happy. "Is it...because you don't like me?" She asked me, her voice quiet and her expression sad. Frantically I shook my head, "No! No no...I like you a lot...I just think that now is not the time."

She sighed disappointedly but seemed to understand as she nodded, "Okay, that makes sense," she mumbled. I smiled and patted her shoulder. "Listen Marion...A lot of people would take advantage of your innocence...it takes time to be ready for these things, and I think you need to really consider who you're doing these things with before you do them." Once I told her this, she pulled me in for a tight hug. I hugged her back, rubbing her back to comfort her, "Thank you...you're very kind," she told me and I smiled and said, "I'm only doing the bare minimum."

After that we just had sandwiches for lunch and then I went back to Welton. My friends were all messing around outside but I noticed that Todd wasn't there. I ran over to them, "Hey guys, Todd still not back?" They all shook their heads. "How'd it go with Marion?" Charlie asked. I knew he would be the first to ask. "Uh well...I think she wanted to have sex. But I said no."
"You said no? But Marion is hot," Charlie said and they all laughed. I rolled my eyes, "It doesn't matter...She's too innocent. And we barely know each other. I told her to wait and she was fine with it." I shrugged and Charlie shook his head in disbelief, "what a man you are Neil Perry." We all laughed and I rolled my eyes.