Odds Are We're Gonna Be Alright

He Says I'm Not Romantic

"You're a very attractive man, Ryan," Matt told his best friend. He took a sip of his LaCroix and looked over at Ryan, who was so absorbed in the game playing out on the screen in front of them that he didn't even flinch at that comment. The pair were sitting in the gaming room of their shared office, the Supermegaplex. Various monitors were propped up near the television, showing sound waves and the status of their recording software. Both boys sat in separate corners of the couch, with Matt leaning against the back and Ryan hunched forward, focused on the menu of Cruis'n' Exotica. Expensive dynamic microphones stood in front of them, and each time one boy wanted to talk, he'd subconsciously lean forward, closer to the mic.

Ryan scoffed, his breath caught in the pop filter, "You're just saying that because we're comparing me to that pixelated piece of shit," he argued, nodding at the colorfully-dressed cowboy positioned on the character select screen. A couple more presses of the A button and he was picking out a race car. "Ooo look at this! A cowboy in a hippy van!"

Matt ignored him, "I'm being serious, you've got those, like, soft but rugged features, those princess eyelashes-"

Ryan started giggling, "Princess eyelashes?"

Matt huffed, "Yeah, like they're all long and shit! You can't even see mine!"

"Bullshit," Ryan replied, shaking his head. The Cruis'n' Exotica music played in the background of their conversation, the Nintendo 64 audio compression making it difficult to distinguish instruments from car noises.

"And you've got that beautiful, thick, dark hair," continued Matt, motioning toward Ryan's head. "And look at me, I'm basically going bald." Matt ran his fingers through his thinning brown hair, taking note that his hairline seemed higher up than before.

"Ladies love that!" Ryan countered before quickly devolving into another round of giggles. "Look at, uh, uh, Hulk Hogan!"

"Brotherrrr," Matt growled, imitating the man himself. "I can 100% guarantee ladies do not love that."

Another race was about to start in the game, and Ryan found his focus torn between talking and concentrating on the countdown. As the game text read Go!, he slammed the A button on the controller and thrust the control stick forward, causing the on-screen vehicle's engine to roar as it began accelerating."Okay, but Matt, you've got those beautiful blues all the ladies swoon over!"

"If any of you have seen our live show," Matt explained to the future Let's Play watchers, "You know that we used to do a bit where we figured out who's most attractive, and I think the majority of our audience sided with me, saying Ryan's more attractive."

"No way, there were way more Matt fangirls than Ryan fangirls," Ryan laughed.

"But you're not counting the fanboys!" Matt yelled. The two started laughing at that, as both had a similar experience with "fanboys." "You are perfect "bear" material, my friend."

Ryan rolled his eyes, "Now you're just calling me fat and hairy, Matthew."

"But in a good way!"

Ryan gave a bit of a laugh, "Ok, but if I'm a bear, you're definitely a twink."

"Oh for sure!" Matt agreed quickly, and the two laughed again. "I can't even argue with that, I'm skinny and I look prepubescent."

Ryan shrugged, "Well you know what they say, you are what you eat..." and he turned to look Matt dead in the eyes. The two sat in silence for a few seconds (for the bit) before Matt laughed, alleviating the awkward quietness. "I love you, dude. I love that we can argue about this shit and it's not even gay."