OKUMURA

Chappy 1- heart

A/n dunno if I mentioned in the description but hella manga spoilers. You have been warned!!!!!

Tw⚠️: angst and possible suicidal thoughts(idk I haven't decided yet) and swearing? this applies for the whole fic but I'll put this at the start of each chapter.

Rin pov:

I don't know what im doing anymore. My life is spiralling downwards and its all because of that dammed rooster. It feels like my heart is being ripped from my chest every time I'm around him. All he ever does is insult and threaten me and it hurts, but I don't really care. I love the damn bastard rooster head weather he likes it or not. But I can't tell him. I can't ever tell him .

He hates me enough already but I can't but help long for him. All I ever wish is to be held in his big strong arms but I know that it will never happen. I'm an ugly half breed. I'm sure that no one would ever care enough. No one would ever be kind enough to someone like me. No matter how hard I try to be a good exorcist it's never good enough. I help stop amainan from attacking my classmates at the camp site? Nah not good enough. I defeated the impure king? Nope not good enough. I help out with the 7 mysteries at school? Nope not good enough. I nearly die trying to save kamiki from lucifer? Nope not good enough either.

I don't know what I have to do to prove myself anymore. This shit is why I just want to kill myself and get it all over with. I know that they're going to kill me as soon as I stop being useful to them and their cause so I just want to be in control of what happens to me. Sure that means death but I'll take anything at the moment. My life's already gone to shit and I'm not sure I want to let it get any worse. But we all know that I have shit for luck so in whatever way my life can get worse, it will.

Currently I'm sat in cram school in the back corner of the class trying to avoid everyone. The hood of my navy blue hoodie draped over my head with the hope that no one will notice that I'm here and that I can just fall asleep. I glance down at my phone as I put my headphone in and press play on Spotify. Instantly alone starts to play. Perfectly describing my life from the start. I start to tap my foot to the beat and let myself relax to the rhythm of this amazing song.

I sit there quietly minding my own business until I see a shadow cast down across my desk. I instantly know who it is and hesitate to look up at the man looming over me. I quickly swallow all my fear and glance up at the guy for a quick moment mumbling a "hey bon" the as i then cast my eyes back down to my desk as quickly as I had glanced up.

He pulled my headphones from my ears and said in a disgusted tone "Well well well, okumura, surprised you showed up after yesterday. Aren't you tired of being humiliated and ridiculed? Just drop out and then it will all stop, you know that right? Or am I going to have to make you?" he exclaimed glaring down at me. He then crouched to get to my eye level and spat in my face saying "filthy half breed" then walked off.

Great. As if my mood wasn't bad enough he just had to go and do that. What an ass hole. Sometimes I wonder why I even have a crush on the guy. It's not like I like his stupid face and his gorgeous two toned hair and his cool piercings and his gruff voice that makes my knees weak. Oh shut up stupid brain.

I just lay my head back down on my arms and put my headphones back in their place as I closed my eyes. Continuing to relax to some depressing music waiting for my brother to arrive.

He arrived in class with an angry snarl plastered on his face, marching up to his desk and slamming his books down, jolting me out of my trance. I paused my music for roll call, answering with a 'yes sir' then resuming what I was originally doing, head laid down on my desk once more.

I quickly drifted off to sleep with my brother giving a boring lecture on succubus when I was rudely awoken by a flying book to the head. Regards of my brother. He stormed up to my desk demanding an answer to his question which I had previously been asleep for so me, being the dumbass I am asked him to repeat it. He simply sighed mumbling a quick 'why do I even bother' before repeating himself. "What is a succubus?" "A succubus is a demon, in female form, or incubus when in male form, that appears in dreams to seduce men, usually through sexual activity."
"What are the problems associated with becoming seduced by this demon?" He asked again with a smirk on his face, not expecting me to know seeing as I was asleep through his lecture. And this question being for what gets covered in a years time, so surely I could not know right?
"According to religious traditions, repeated sexual activity with a succubus or incubus can cause poor physical or mental health, even death."

I watched his smirk falter and be replaced by an angry frown as he glared down at me and marched back to his desk, clearly dissatisfied by the fact that I could answer such a complex question without having paid attention.

"Sir?" Bon pestered "surely he must have cheated, he was clearly asleep throughout the lecture and can suddenly answer a question on a topic we haven't covered yet." "Yes suguro, I'm not entirely sure why he knew what he did but let's not question it, at least him knowing more than is covered currently will make him a better tool for the order"
"Yes sir" bon said defeatedly

I quickly buried my head in my arms hoping to escape from my fate as the orders weapon, hoping and wishing to escape this cruel, unfortunate life of which I live.

A/n: Wohooo!!!!! 1081 words guys!!!
Enjoy!!!!
Also all my other fanfics will be on hold until I finish this one because like I said in the description this is for the Big Bang event on the Ao No Exorcist discord server and I've kinda gotta get it done ASAP so enjoy this fanfic while you wait for the others :)