Jazz: Vol 3 of the Still Waters Series

Chapter 68

WARNING: MATURE CONTENT. DEPICTIONS OF RAPE AND COERCION. MAY BE TRIGGERING TO SURVIVORS.

I didn't wait for anyone to tell me that I was pregnant. One day I just knew that I was, and I went to the doctor to get rid of it. Remmey was right. A baby between him and me would mess up everything, and I knew better than to do it.

I saw Remmey every day after our last time together, but he hadn't spoke to me since. Rico noticed it but didn't say anything.

Remmey had also gotten some gold caps on his teeth since then, and it made him look like...what I wanted. So, I had been trying my hardest not to even look at him, because Rico would notice that, too.

I asked the doctor not to tell Rico that I had been there to see him. I wanted him to promise me that before I told him what I was there for. I asked him not to tell because Rico hadn't made love to me since he'd been back. And I knew that he was already furious with me about whatever Remmey had said to him after we talked.

The doctor just looked at me and moved in closer. He took my hand and smiled kindly at me. Then he looked down at my blouse and back up into my eyes.

His smile changed.

"Jazz...what you here for?"

I didn't let my face change. He had to do this for me.

Whatever it cost.

"You know what I'm here for."

The hand that was holding mine let go and moved to my thigh.

"You know you fuckin' wit' my life, right?" He started playing with the hem of my cutoff shorts. Just like Rico always did. "Askin' me to keep this to myself."

I didn't break eye contact with him.

He had to do this for me.

And he knew it.

His hand slip up under my shorts and started searching for the center of my panties.

"Whachu gone give me if I do?"

I blinked then. I didn't know how to answer his question.

I dropped my eyes.

And was immediately sorry that I did.

The doctor moved in to kiss me. "Take off your clothes."

"Umm..." I was suddenly nervous. The last time I didn't have to take my clothes off. And Lola was with me, keeping eyes on the doctor.

And I had that drink in me, so I didn't care.

Now it was just me.

And him.

And I realized then that I didn't know what kind of man he was. I didn't know how far he would make me go and how rough he would be if I didn't go along with how much he wanted.

He stood up over me menacingly. "Now."

I did it, and before I knew what was happening, he was already inside of me.

"Say you want this."

"What?" I looked up at him.

"Say it." He slapped my thigh.

I said it.

I didn't want him to hit me again.

Even more than that, I didn't want him to hit me harder...in my face.

Where Rico could see.

The doctor read right through me and grinned. "If Rico asks me, I'ma tell him the truth. All of it."

I stared up at him and then closed my eyes. I wished Lola was there to put me to sleep again.

I wanted to go home.

But I kept my mouth shut and took it.

I did it because there was nothing else that I could do.

After he was finished, he pushed me up further onto the table and strapped my feet into the stirrups.

I was here.

Again.

With my legs wide open for him.

Again.

And there was nothing I could do about it.

Again.

Rico would kill me if I didn't do it.

Remmey would kill me if I didn't do it.

So I just...

Did it.

I closed my eyes tighter and tried to block out the sound of him scraping my baby...and himself...back out of me.

When he was done, I put my clothes back on and went home.