In Love, On Drugs

the alone

By the third day I was out of weed. I was saving the xanax for a worse day.

I texted Max myself this time. I was going to meet him alone this time.

We organised to meet in the park again after dark.

The past 2 days were foggy and I barely recognised the time passing.

My room already stunk. 

I had one real meal in the past 2 days. Not like I wasn't skinny enough.

Honestly I forget I needed food to survive.

I was just so relaxed. More calm than I'd ever been in my tragic life.

I was desperate to keep it.

I waited for Max on the swingset, the lonely swing still beside me.

I didn't have to wait long.

There he was; that beautiful, beautifully scary boy.

He rolled up in his loud car and walked over to me with ease, items in hands.

He was smiling widely unlike last time.

"Didn't expect to see you so soon," he spoke as he reached me.

"Yeah, well I ran out," I struggled.

"Clearly," he grunted.

I didn't say anything more, honestly still intimidated by his presence, I just held out my cash.

He took it from my hands before taking the swing seat beside me.

I raised an eyebrow at him but he ignored my silent questioning.

"Here, I brought you a present."

He produced a weirdly shaped glass item filled with water, presenting it to me proudly.

He laughed at my naiveness.

"It's a bong. For weed."

This didn't clarify my confusion. I hadn't seen anything like it before.

He laughed again.

"Here I'll show you how to use it," he offered.

He reached into his bag to produce more small, clear baggies of green substance, removing a proportion and tightly packing it into an opening of the glass device.

"Watch me. All you have to do is cover this hole, blow in then release your hand once it's lit. Simple."

He lifted the bong to his soft lips, flicking his lighter with ease, the grass quickly catching flame.

The bong made a strange gurgling sound before I saw the smoke rise to meet Max's lips.

His hazel eyes flickered as he lowered the bong and silently exhaled, the smoke retreating into the cool air. 

"See, simple," he cooed, turning to me with a smile that was oddly comforting even if it was from a drug dealer at 2am in a park. "I'll help you."

He repacked the opening in the bong with fresh weed and held it up to my lips. I reached down to connect my lips to the top opening, my large eyes looking back to Max, half afraid, half excited.

Softly, he raised his hand to my face, silently pushing the hair that fell over my face behind my ear. He allowed his bruised hand to falter against my cheek once more.

My stomach fluttered. I suddenly remembered that I was entirely alone with a boy I barely knew in a dark park, with no one around for miles.

"Breathe in," he whispered.

I did as he told me, listening the water bubble once more as Max used his lighter again, his hand firstly wrapped over the hole, then slowly released.

The smoke reached me quickly and all at once.

My throat burned like never before.

My eyes must have been so wide they could have popped out for Max simply laughed, encouraging me to keep breathing in.

It felt like my throat was on fire, but I did as Max told me.

Eventually Max declared, 'You can breathe out now'.

Gladly, I released my position at the mouth of the bong, bursting out into a fit of coughing.

How embarrassing.

Max just watched me, undoubtedly amused.

When I had finally recovered, in a scratchy voice I managed, "I'm so sorry".

Max's face fell slightly, "You have nothing to be sorry for Charli."

Weirdly, his voice was soothing, earnest.

I wondered why a boy like him was being so nice to a girl like me.

Then, suddenly I was aware of the creeping, cloudy sensation entering into my brain. The feeling had hit me much faster this way than it had smoking Max's rolled joints.

I giggling softly to myself, happy.

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Max shaking his head.

He rose from the swing and made to leave without a word, as I was anxious for more.

"Wait Max!" I called out after him, "How much do I owe you for the bong?"

"Don't worry about it Charli. See you soon," he replied, dipping his head as if he was bowing to me again.

He left me alone in the park, without another word. He did not turn back.