Learn To Love

6. Never Have I Ever...Felt So Guilty.

Paxton's POV : 

It's been a few days since Devi's incident and I feel like nothing in my life has been feeling the same. It's corny to say but, not seeing Devi in school is sad for me. 

There's been rumors flying around that I was the reason why Devi's been in the hospital for the past days. It's not true but I do feel like it's my fault in some type of way. Although I really didn't want to talk to her after what I saw, I could've prevent that from happening somehow. 

Not only that, but I've been constantly seeing both Noah and Ben. The guy who likes my girlfriend and the guy that kissed her. Adding to that, Eleanor and Fabiola would  look at me like I'm their enemy. So that's been great. 

I look at my phone and the first thing I see in my homescreen is a picture of Devi and I. I miss her. 

I've been visiting her at the hospital everyday after school - from afar. I can't even bear to talk to her when part of this was my fault. 

"Sup Paxton." 

I look both sides of my seat to see Trent and Marcus sitting next to me. I just nod my head, acknowledging their existence before going back to looking at my homescreen. 

"How's Devi?" 

"She's fine, I hope." 

"We should totally pay her a visit after school today." I look up to see Marcus agreeing with what Trent just said. 

"Yeah, we'll join you today Paxton. Should we bring pizza?" Marcus adds. 

I just shake my head, "I'm not going today and you don't give a patient pizza guys." I answer and just place both my hands on my head while looking at the desk. This is tiring me out. 

Trent and Marcus just looks at each other, "Alright then. You're still down Marcus?" Marcus nods. "Then that's the plan today. We'll figure out what to bring later." The school bell rang, letting the class simmer down the noise. I can finally relax. 

...

It was finally lunch but I didn't feel like hanging at my usual spot so I decided to go somewhere quiet, the library. While having earphones in my ears, I just look at the windows and look at my homescreen. 

I go straight to my voicemails and search for the most recent voice message Devi left me. 

"Hey Paxton. My mom is going out tonight so I was wondering if you'd like to hang at my place right now...but I'm assuming you're sleeping or something so I don't know. Umm..I guess goodnight." 

I just smile to myself and put my phone down. I really miss her. I know I told the guys earlier I wasn't visiting but I actually am. I'm just not going to actually visit her. I keep looking outside the window until Fabiola and Eleanor sits down on my table. I look at them as they analyze me in silence. 

"What's up..?" They both look at each other and back at me. 

"Listen, we don't know what happened exactly since Devi won't tell us. But she did say you haven't contact nor visit her once since the incident." Eleanor starts. 

"And because of that, we're gonna assume you broke up with her." My brows furrowed. I didn't break up with her. 

"Therefore, we'd like it if you stay away from her as far as possible. She doesn't deserve this toxicity at all." Fabiola ends the speech as they both nod slowly and get off the chairs to leave.