She heard them from aloof; the dark, smooth, melodic voice and the bright, bubbly and eager ditto. Listening to them, being the quiet observer when they still hadn't noticed her presence, was one of her biggest joys; their chit chat and unique dialouge, all the spontaneity and humor but also the thoughtfulness that was accommodated in that tiny little head and popped up in a sometimes confusing but alwas adorable mixture. The way he always answerd her, talked to her as if she was much older than she really was, always patiently waiting for her to explain something, never interrupted or corrected her. Let her be the child she was and at the same time treated her as an equal.
Of all the uncountable things she loved about him, that was probably on top of that list; his obvious and simple aptitude for being a dad. He was a natural. Even though she was utterly biased, she couldn't think of a father-daughter bond stronger than the one between the two of them, and she beyond grateful for the opportunity to be a part of that; them wanting to be hers and her to be theirs.
Sometimes he tried to speak french with Lea, something the little girl wasn't particularly fond of. Being of the definite view that two languages were more than enough for her to handle at the moment, she let him know with an obviousness only a four and a half year old could show.
Lea's sassiness and obstinacy amused her to pieces and sometimes the two of them allied against Bradley, driving him slightly crazy over the fact he had to surrender to another evening watching the Minions with the mandatory sing along to the Rah Rah pig (which in fact he enjoyed as much as a they did) eating cereals in bed in the morning and using him as a test dummy for more or less crazy make-up ideas.
"You'd be such a great model for Hauslabs, honey" she beamed with pleasure one day when Lea had been given free hands for her creativity, using all the colors available in the Stupid Love palette topped with multiple layers of glam attack Glamour Puss.
"You would enjoy that, wouldn't you."
The little grains of gold in life; silver linings making the difference between ordinary days and memorable moments.
The summer was coming to an end. Well that wasn't entirely true. The summer was lingering, hot and dry on this side of the country, but the uninterrupted time together, the three of them, was almost over for this time. With a couple of weeks left until school started in the middle of September she tried to be in the present and not too much in the future, something she'd learned the hard way from years of practicing.
Three and a half year. Three and a half fucking year of this new life, that frankly wasn't so new anymore.
What if she had known back then when she was crying on the floor, afraid he would be deterrred by the necessary, inevitable arrangements she had to discuss with him.
What if they had known.
********
"You can still change your mind about it. It's okey B" she had tried to convince him over the phone after her show that night, the same day she'd had that crucial talk with Bobby in Milan.
"Stop it."
For the first time since they got to know each other she heard an annoyance in his voice while speaking to her.
"Do you really think I would just walk away because it's gonna be a little harder than we first thought? Do you seriously don't think I wanna fight for us?"
He took a deep breath, gathered himself.
"Stef. What is this about? We talked about this already, what has changed now?"
