May 2018
"This won't work. We need another plan."
Bobby restlessly paced the room with every pair of present eyes fixed on him, surprised and questioning. He wasn't a man who easily lost his temper or got upset by little things; more a slow burning fire than a firework.
"What do you mean 'won't work'?" Stefani asked, cautiously watching him with a slightly frowning face. Her voice was soft and calm and only if you knew her well, which they all did of course, you could feel the hint of nervousness it held.
"Just look at them!" Bobby blurted out, ignoring her question and turned to face Nicole who was sitting opposite them at the round coffee table. Nicole just nodded shortly as Bobby threw his hand out in their direction, repeating a little more gentle while turning around
"Just look at the two of you" he said, addressing both her and Bradley now, while he sighed deeply and almost threw himself back into his chair.
His frustration was obvious and she knew it was enlarged from the fondness he held for both of them; he clearly just wanted their best, ready to protect her with his own life if necessary.
She suddenly became more self consious than she usually was, registered the sight of them as it must be seen by their spectators; she and Bradley sitting as close as possible in the large sofa, legs and knees touching, hands clasped hard together, fingers intertwined. Cheeks more blushed than they had been for months, probably years, from the long awaited relief, from the pure and undisguised happiness and above all, from love. It was impossible to hide.
"You look better" her mom had said, when she had pulled the screen closer to examine her daughter's appearance a week prior.
"Seriously, mom. I look like a skinny ghost."
Her reply had been dry but honest, knowing she'd lost both pounds and color after hiding indoors for months, with no or little appetite and a growing fear of being spotted in public.
In February, when she and Bradley had realized how seldom they would have the opportunity to be together the following months, he had given her a downhearted, almost appologetic face. She had replied with resignation, trying her best to sound as indifference as possible, in order to protect him from worrying, which in hindsight was pretty hilarious. He would never stop worrying about her. Never stop worrying, caring about or encouraging her. Never stop loving her. She knew that now, but back then it hadn't been that easy.
"Maybe it's for the best. I have my shit to deal with and you need to focus on Lea..."
To that he had strongly opposed, reminded her that his promise, to always come whenever she needed her, wasn't just something he'd said in the heat and the sweet of the moment after they first made love, entangled and love-soaked between the sheets in Portland. No, he actually meant every single word of it, which he insistently tried to reassure.
"I know it wasn't" she had quickly replied. "I know you do. And I know you'll be just a phone call away."
She had cuddled into his embrace, hiding her face in the fabric of his shirt in order to hide her face from him, hide the fact that she was insecure as hell and knew he could read her like an open book.
"But I also know that I need to practice my ability to be on my own, to not rely on others all the time" she'd mumbled into his chest.
"To find myself again. To regain some of the self-esteem and self-confidence I seem to have lost somewhere. Right now, I'm not sure I ever had it."
