Broken

1.

Shiva was restless. He hadn't seen Raavi in two days now. She had neither popped up at the store nor at their house. He only wished she were fine. No matter how much he denied it, he was used to her presence. Not being around her made him restless. He couldn't concentrate at work nor could he relax at home. Every morning he would make up his mind to go and visit her, but something stopped him. Perhaps it was his intense hatred toward his Maami, which Raavi would often bear the brunt of, or maybe it was that, he couldn't bear to see her present condition.

Dhara and Gaumbi visited her everyday. Dhara would call her three-four times a day, but she wouldn't pick it up. So she called Mausapa instead and ask him how she was. As far as Shiva could tell from Dhara's words, Raavi was not okay. He couldn't ask her again and again, but he would roam around Dhara whenever she was on the call with Mausapa, hoping to hear bits and pieces of their conversation. Sometimes Dhara would break down and Shiva would console her. But he didn't know what else to do.

That day when he came back to his house, he could tell Maami and Mama had come to fix Raavi's alliance with Dev. He was sure she would gloat before him and annoy him into accepting her as his bhabhi. Their eyes met for a brief second and he could tell something was seriously wrong. Raavi was broken. So when she ran away, he followed her. He had no idea what happened but he was sure something was going to happen. Dhara and her family followed. They explained to him what happened on the way. When they reached her house, he rushed upstairs to her room. It was locked. He broke it open and saw the one sight which he had never seen in his worst nightmare. His heart thumped so loudly in his chest when he thought he lost her. Dhara's voice shook him to life, and he got her down. He didn't realise he was holding his breath till he found her pulse.

Shiva was still haunted by that sight. That very night he got a nightmare that he couldn't save her. She died in his arms and he could do nothing. He had been very afraid of going to sleep since then. It was Dev's fault. If only he had heard Shiva's advice and stayed away from Raavi nothing would have happened. Dev had always taken Raavi very casually. Shiva was the only one who saw the determination and excitement in her eyes when she announced that she wanted to become the daughter-in-law of the Pandya family. Rest everyone took it as a joke, or a childish desire. It was Dev's politeness and nicety that she thought he was in love with her. Shiva was so mad at Dev that he avoided speaking to him for two days. He could've at least handled the situation more delicately and spoken to Raavi first instead of blurting it out in front of their families.

He was broken out of his reverie when he saw Mausapa passing through his store. Shiva immediately stopped him and called him inside. This was the first time he was initiating a normal conversation with his Mama in years. Their problems didn't matter when Raavi was in this state.

"Mama, Raavi thik hai?"

Mausapa was a little surprised to see Shiva's concern for Raavi, but he couldn't control his tears when he heard Raavi's name. The girl was in a terrible state. She neither ate nor talked to anyone. Either she would be sleeping or she would just sit in her bed, looking at the horizon.

"Nahi bilkul nahi." Mama started crying. "Zinda lash ban gayi hai meri beti. Kuch bolti nahi, bas chup chap baithi rehti hai. Anita aur Prafulla sara din uske saath baithe hote hai ki woh wapas khudkhushi na karne chali jayi. Do din se khaana tak nahi khaya meri bachhi ne. Prafulla zor zabaradasti khilati hai toh do-teen niwala khake so jaati hai. Mujhe kuch samajh nahi aa raha beta ki main kya karu. Itna laachar maine kabhi nahi mehsoos kiya."

Shiva's eyes started misting. He felt his heart break. Mama had completely broken down in front of him. They didn't have a good relationship but Shiva kept a hand on his shoulder to calm him down. This was a difficult time for all of them. Mama controlled his tears and got up.

"Beta tum ek baar Raavi se..." He felt awkward to put his request in front of Shiva, but he felt as if Shiva could elicit a response out of Raavi in some way. He would take any chance to get back his daughter.

"Aata hu shaam ko."

He thanked Shiva and left. Shiva wondered what he could do. He surely couldn't bear to see her that way. Raavi had always been the image of cheerfulness and innocence for him. He missed the same cheerfulness which annoyed him to no extent. How could he bring her back to normal? Would she ever be the old Raavi again? Watching Raavi now would break his heart, Shiva was sure. He was scared but he had to at least try. Raavi and sadness didn't fit in the same box in his head. She deserved all the happiness in this world.

***

Shiva closed the store early that day, and went to Raavi's house. He was extremely nervous which was completely unlike him. He got down his bike and went inside. Normally he would come here to shout at his Maami or threaten her. So coming for a different purpose just felt weird. Prafulla had just made some tea and she was astonished to see Shiva. He wasn't angry as usual, and she didn't have the energy to fight him. Mausapa welcomed him and asked him to go upstairs and meet Raavi. Prafulla didn't trust him at all, so she followed him upstairs.

As Shiva opened her bedroom door, he saw her sitting on the bed and looking out of the window. Anita was sitting beside her. She didn't even turn to see who had opened the door and come to see her. Shiva was devastated to see the blank expression of her face. This wasn't his old Raavi. Anita looked at him, surprised. No one had expected Shiva out of all people to come to her. Shiva stepped inside her room. It reminded him of his nightmare. This was the same room where he had almost lost her. Prafulla was following him with her eyes. She probably expected him to be shout or hit Raavi.

"Ae, maami ki behen ki beti." He felt his voice cracking just a little bit. It didn't have the same tone it usually did.

Raavi looked at Shiva. Prafulla gasped. These past two days, she hadn't even looked at anyone. This felt like a huge thing. Even Anita smiled for the first time in two days. Raavi's eyes were focused on Shiva. Anita almost thought she was going to get up, but she didn't. She was rooted at the spot looking at Shiva.

Shiva had no idea what to do next. He felt like his heart was getting pierced with a thousand pins when she looked at him. Her eyes told him how much pain she was in and Shiva felt as he were going to break down. He immediately turned away and left, unable to see her in this condition. Mausapa came behind him. He kept his arm on his shoulder and this time it was Shiva's turn to break down. His maami ki behen ki beti was gone. Dhara came there to meet Raavi, but she saw Shiva crying outside. She immediately went and hugged him.

"Bhabhi woh... Raavi... mujhse nahi dekha jaa raha."  Shiva cried.

"Sab thik ho jayega Shiva. Waqt saare ghav bhar deta hai. Hume bas koshish karte rehna parega." Dhara said. "Hum bhi aise toot jayenge toh Raavi ko kaun sambhalega?" She wiped away his tears.

"Dhara aaj toh Shiva ke bulane par Raavi ne uski taraf dekha." Mausapa said. "Shiva beta, inn do dino mein Raavi ne humari taraf ek baar bhi nahi dekha. Tumhari wajah se usne kuch toh react kiya!"

Dhara was surprised. She never expected Shiva could make her react or she would have brought Shiva with her sooner. Nor had she expected Shiva to be this broken. She had always heard him saying that he hated her. He didn't mean it, she knew that. It was Shiva's way of dealing with what happened ten years ago with Maami. However, it was heartwarming to see his concern for her.

"Shiva andar chal. Shayad teri wajah se woh kuch baat kare." Dhara said.

"Aaj nahi bhabhi. Mujhe thoda waqt chahiye khud ko sambhalne ke liye."

Dhara nodded, and Shiva left. He decided he would come back tomorrow and vowed to make her talk anyhow. Right now, he needed to calm his own emotions. He promised Bholenath that he would do anything in his power to bring back his old Raavi.