Broken

4.

Raavi looked at the man sitting beside her and eating all the chips. Prafulla had brought those for her, but she refused and Shiva took it instead. She still didn't understand why he was here with with her, but she would be lying if she said that she didn't like his presence. After Dhara had left, he took up more than half of her bed and sprawled out to eat chips. She tried to push him away but he was too strong to move. Finally, giving up, she got up and sat on a chair instead.

"Tujhe koi aur kaam nahi hain?" Raavi asked. "Humesha yahi para rehta hai? Bechare Gaumbi ko saara kaam khud sambhalna padhta hai."

"Gaumbi ne khud mujhe chutti di hai. Aur Mama ne mujhe teri duty pe laga diya hai." Shiva said. 

Raavi rolled her eyes. She was feeling light and calm. Dev and her problems felt very distant suddenly. Anita came in coffee for both of them. Raavi herself took the tray and served it to Shiva with four spoons of sugar. She knew he hated coffee because it tasted bitter, he would say. Anita left them alone. He took a sip and didn't wince. That told her he liked it. She began sipping her own coffee silently.

"Yahi hai teri woh famous waali diary?" Shiva took out her diary from under her mattress. "Mujhe toh hazar gaaliyaan di hongi isme."

Raavi gasped and snatched it out of his hands, but she lost her balance in the process and fell on top of him. He held her by her waist, but immediately removed his hand. Raavi was disappointed. It felt nice and warm for the brief second he touched her. She felt supported. But as soon as he removed his hand, it was cold and painful. She got up, went to her own place and sat down. It was all getting tiring. She wanted it to stop. Shiva suddenly spilled the coffee into his hand and Raavi forgot everything else when he winced.

She went and looked at his hand. It was slightly burnt. She immediately went down and got some ice cubes. Everyone was shocked to see her, because she hasn't stepped out of her room in four days. Prafulla started crying with happiness. Raavi rushed up again and applied ice to the burnt area. He kept wincing so she began to blow at the wound, hoping the pain would leave him. After than, she applied ointment on his hand.

"Tera dhyaan kaha hota hain, gadhera kahi ka?" Raavi scolded.

"Maami ki behen ki beti, bakwaas mat kar. Dhyaan na dene ka record abhi bhi tera hi hai."

"Tu rehne de. Tujhse ek kaam bhi dhang se nahi hoga. Meri hi galti hai jo tujhe bed pe coffee diya maine. Tu iss layak nahi hai."

Raavi saw Shiva smiling and was irritated. Not only had he hurt himself, he spilled coffee on her bed. He was about to say something but a knock at the door got both their attention. Raavi's heart froze when she saw who it was. She stepped closer to Shiva instinctively. Dev came inside and Raavi felt her tears coming back. She made fists out of her hand, and she felt like curling up in some corner. Her fingers were digging into her palm and it hurt. But this pain was better than the pain she was feeling inside her heart. Why was Dev here? She wished he would leave.

"Raavi, I'm really sorry. Mera tumhare saath aisa karne ka koi iraada nahi tha." Dev said. "Saari galti meri hai."

She felt ashamed. Raavi clutched Shiva's sleeve, stepping even closer to him. It was getting difficult for her to breathe. Why should she have to go through such pain? Didn't Bholenath love her at all? No one really loved her. Raavi didn't even realise when she eventually hid behind Shiva. She heard Dev apologising again but she didn't want it.

"Dev tujhe abhi jaana chahiye." Shiva said.

"Shiva I'm really sorry. Mujhe khud samajh nahi aa raha tha main kya karu. Aur itna guilty feel kar raha tha ki sorry bolne ki himmat bhi nahi bachi thi mujh mein." Dev said.