Broken

5.

"Ae maami ki behen ki beti."

Raavi was again woken up by Shiva shaking her shoulder. She had just fallen asleep a little while ago, and this annoying bhootnath came to wake her up already. Raavi turned to the other side and found a pillow. She put it over her ear to block out his shouts. Her blanket was peeled off her body and Shiva dragged her up. She pushed him off and went to sleep again, but was awoken when he splashed a few drops of water on her face. Did he just do that? Raavi saw him laughing. She took the same glass of water he was holding and splashed the whole thing onto his face.

"Ae gadheri, pura bhiga diya."

"Tu bhi toh mujhe subah subah irritate karne chala aaya gadhera kahi ka." Raavi shouted.

"Chal jaldi se yeh pehenke aa. Hume phir chalna hai."

Raavi saw that he had picked out her yellow salwaar from her cupboard. She asked him where they were going but Shiva didn't say anything. He took her to the bathroom and closed the door from outside. She threw a towel outside for him to wipe his face. Raavi had no choice but to get ready. She took her time to get ready, making him wait intentionally for waking her up that way. When Raavi came out of the bathroom, she saw the annoyance in his face. She chucked at that and took her time in doing her hair and choosing her accessories. After she was done, Shiva didn't waste any time. He took her outside and made her sit behind his bike. The sunlight hit her directly and she squirmed her eyes. Her heart started pounding for no reason. It took everything she had, not to get up from his bike and run back home.

She held on to him, as he started the bike. It felt great, feeling the wind against her skin. The fresh air around her helped her breathe deeply. But she was also scared. The whole world outside felt scary. She clutched onto him more tightly. It was a short ride, and Raavi saw that Shiva had brought her to the Somnath temple. She got down and he parked the bike. The hustle and bustle of the temple was scary. She clutched onto his sleeve.

"Kya hua?" He asked.

"Mujhe darr lag raha hai." She spoke, almost in a whisper. It sounded stupid to her own ears, because she had no reason to be scared. It must have sounded extremely stupid to Shiva.

"Darna toh bakiyo ko chahiye. Chudail jo hain ek number ki tu." Shiva said.

Raavi glared at him in a mocking way. It calmed her down a little, yet she held onto his arm as they walked into the temple. She felt people looking at her. Raavi tried to remind herself that most of them didn't even know her. Her mind was being overactive. Then she realised why they were looking at her. She was almost leaning on to Shiva, and that attracted all the gossip aunties. It was fine, she didn't care about that. However, her eyes widened when she found Gaumbi and Dhara waiting for them? Why were they here? Dhara hugged her.

"Aap dono yaha?" She asked.

"Maine hi bola tha Shiva ko tujhe yaha lane." Gaumbi said. "Har hafte somvaar ke din, main aur Dhara yaha puja dene aate hai. Toh iss baar humne socha ki aaj ki puja tere naam karenge, tere saath. Koi aitraaz nahi hain na tujhe?"

Raavi got emotional. "Thank you Gaumbi."

Her voice cracked as tears began to fall from her eyes. They still considered her their own. She had been so dumb to think that she would become a nobody for them. Dhara wiped her tears away and Raavi gave her a smile. She led Raavi to the temple with Shiva and Gaumbi following them. Raavi was still nervous about the crowd, but Shiva was close behind her, so she relaxed and concentrated on the puja instead. They took blessings from Lord Somnath and came out. Instead of simply walking out, Gaumbi took them behind where there was a place to sit. He made Raavi sit and fed her a sweet from his own hands. Raavi's eyes teared up at the gesture. This was what she had wanted from the Pandya family. To be one of their own.

"Raavi, tujhe main bachpan se janta hu. Humesha tujhe aise uchalte kudte dekha hai. Aur tu waise hi badi ho gayi. Woh bachpan waali masoomiyat tujh mein abhi bhi hai. Aur wahi teri best baat hai Raavi." Gaumbi smiled. "Tujhe maine humesha apni behen ke nazaro se dekha hai. Jaise mere liye Shiva, waise hi mere liye tu hain. Tu hamesha Pandya parivaar ka hissa thi aur hissa rahegi."

Raavi felt so happy to hear that. They truly loved her. She looked at Shiva who tried to wipe away the tear that was rolling down his eyes. He cared about her too. Raavi felt truly blessed. Dhara fed her another sweet from the prasad.

"Raavi, tu mujhse promise kar tu phir kabhi suicide karne ki koshish nahi karegi. Meri toh jaan hi nikal gayi thi Raavi. Chahe ho jaye, tu aakar hum mein se kisi se baat karegi." Dhara sobbed.

"I'm sorry Dhara di. Main aap logo ko dukh nahi pahunchana chahti thi. Uss waqt pata nahi kyu mujhe apne alawa koi nahi dikh raha tha. Aisa lag raha tha ki mujhe sirf Dev ne nahi puri duniya ne reject kiya. Aap logo ka dard mujhe dikhayi nahi de raha tha. Jab Shiva ne mujhe kal bataya, tab mujhe ehsaas hua ki main aap logo ke saath aisa nahi kar sakti. Main aap sab se promise karti hu ki main aisa phir kabhi nahi karungi." Raavi said.

Dhara pulled her into another hug. Everyone were in tears by this point. They all wiped their tears. Gaumbi had to go to a meeting. Dhara said she will take an auto home, and asked Shiva to take Raavi home. They got on the bike and Raavi felt much lighter. She was still very emotional. When they reached home, Raavi saw Mausapa smiled looking at her face. Anita and Prafulla looked relieved. She had stepped out of the house, and looked much better already. Raavi realised how much stress they were in because of her so she went and hugged each one of them. She apologised to them personally and promised she would never do it again. Mausapa cried in relief when he heard that.

Shiva took Raavi to her room. Anita had changed the sheets and cleaned it properly when she was out so it looked much nicer. She sat on the bed and started crying. There was still one question haunting her. She didn't want to stress everyone further with it, except Shiva. He was the strongest person she knew and she knew she could talk to him about it.

"Maine sabko promise kar diya ki main suicide nahi karungi." Raavi said. "Par Shiva iss khalipan ka kya karu? Aisa lagta hai ki zindagi mein kuch baaki raha hi nahi. Bachpan se mera ek hi sapna tha. Dev se shaadi aur Pandya parivaar ki bahu banna. Aur mere zindagi ka woh iklauta sapna toot gaya."

"Mujhe bachpan mein Amitabh Bachhan banna tha." Shiva said, making Raavi surprised. "Par thodi der baad pata chala woh possible nahi hai. Tujhe bhi apna sapna badalna padega. Kitna bakwaas sapna hai tera. Kuch aur soch na gadheri. Kitna kuch hai karne ko."

Raavi stopped crying. He did have a point. She could get another dream but what? Raavi had just focused on Dev all her life and she didn't know what she wanted from life anymore. It was a depressing thought. She never had a plan B. Marrying Dev wasn't just a dream. It was her life plan. She always knew it was gonna happen, and she had brought up herself with that in mind. Raavi shook her head. She had no idea what to do in life. This thought brought a fresh set of tears to her eyes. Shiva wiped those away.

"Abhi sapna dhoondhne ki zaroorat nahi hai Raavi. Puri zindagi hai tere paas." He consoled her.

Raavi wiped her tears away and nodded. She trusted him when he said that.