Dear anyone,
Today I saw the most beautiful girl. And I don't meanin the way I look at some girls in jealousy- I mean that I wished I could kiss her.
I wish that I could kiss a girl like her, and that scares me. She was reading what looked like a really good book, and her blue eyes glimmered in the light, and dark hair fell perfectly on her slim shoulders- and I was afraid of how she made me feel.
I'm afraid because of who I am. If I had different parents, if I had a different family, if I wasn't Catholic- if, if, if... then I might have a girlfriend some day on my list of relationships as well as boyfriends. But I don't have different parents, or a different family, and I am Catholic. So I have to hide the fact that I am bisexual- for my family, for my God, and for myself...
So I'm afraid of love.
Not friendly love, but romance. Because even if I do marry a man some day who I truly, unconditionally love, I'll feel cheated. Because what if my options were too limited, and I fall for a woman who I end up loving more than my husband? I'll just have to be miserable and hide it.
Writing all of this makes my heart hurt- the way that the girl I saw today made it hurt.
So, I'll stop. Until I see another beautiful person, which won't take long...
YOU ARE READING
Not Sure Yet
Teen FictionA girl's letters to no one in particular about love, death, and anything else that makes her think of how life is fleeting.
