Anarchy - Young Royals Season 2 / Continuation

Chapter 6 - Human

The next morning, Simon awoke feeling refreshed. As he entered the kitchen, his mum was already there, washing dishes from the day before.

"Morning, Mum."

"Oh, morning Simon! I didn't hear you get up."

"Is Sara up yet?"

"No, not yet."

He sat at the table to check his phone for the first time since sending the text to Wille last night. He regretted sending it, but in the moment, he knew he had to do it. He wondered how Wille was doing. What would he decide? Would being with his parents convince him to leave Simon forever? He knew he couldn't let Wille consume is thoughts, that just gave him more power over him. Simon wanted to think about something or someone else for a moment.

Simon was jolted back to reality with the buzzing of Sara's phone behind him. She usually took it to bed with her but she must have forgotten. He picked it up from the counter, seeing a message from "A" had just been delivered. He couldn't see the message, but wondered who or what A could be. This was fleeting though, as he arose to help with the dishes and began chatting with his mum about what they were going to do today. She went to take out the bins, leaving Simon alone

Possibly roused by their conversation, Sara emerged into the kitchen. She exchanged pleasantries with Simon and their mum before asking, "Have you seen my phone? I can't find it."

"Mm-hmm, got it here." Simon replied. "So, who's A? You've just got a message."

Sara's face went white. Flustered, she replied, "No one. Just a friend." She hurried to put her phone in her pyjama pocket. Their mother came back into the kitchen, greeting Sara as she did. Sara went on to tell her mum about a dream she had the night before. Sara seemed to want to distract from the message she received, but Simon could tell Sara was hiding something.

_______

Since Christmas dinner, Wille had not left his room other than going on late night walks in the grounds. He used to like his own company, but the thought of Simon moving on with his life leaving Wille miserable and alone was unbearable. He wanted nothing more to go back to Hillerska, back to the way it was, but with Simon side-by-side with him. The cold mornings seemed so much cooler, and the fond memories of the two of them in Simon's room, away from the rest of the world, seemed so much more distant. 

His dad had tried knocking on Wille's door on Boxing day, but Wille said nothing. "Come on Wille, you can't stay in there forever."

Wille wondered what was going to happen if he did nothing. He goes back to school. Simon is still there, but they don't talk. Simon doesn't even think of Wille anymore. He finds someone new, someone who doesn't have to hide him. And Wille would be happy for him. But that all felt so wrong. Simon changed everything for Wille. 

He had two choices. Number 1, tell Simon it had to be over, set him free. He would become king, get married, have kids, be the person his family wanted him to be. Number 2, tell everyone he loved Simon, that he was gay. He may be disowned, and it would affect Simon for the rest of his life. He would be the one "to turn to Crown Prince gay". Wille didn't know if he had it in him to do that to Simon. He loved him, he didn't want anything bad to happen to him. Did Wille being with him publicly contradict that?

The second option also meant his family would probably have to leave him behind, find a new heir. Maybe his first cousin. Maybe August. August would make a better Crown Prince than him anyway. Yes, he is an asshole, but that means he would fit right in.

Wille contemplated these thoughts for days. The reply he got from Simon confused him even further. He can't get anything out of him. What does Simon want? He doesn't want to be a secret, but not being a secret and being the centre of the media's attention for the rest of his life are two very different things. He didn't know what to do.

On a late night walk in the grounds, illuminated by the moonlight, his mind once again turned to Simon. Wille imagined Simon walking next to him, and began to talk.

"What am I meant to do..."

He imagined, "Do want you think is right. Play the situations out. Which do you want, not what your family wants." Wille wanted nothing more than to talk to Simon, to ask him for real what he should do. 

As he looked out over the lake, he thought of writing a letter for both occasions. One to the press, one to Simon. The idea consumed him. He pulled out a scrap of paper in his pocket, a pen he kept in his jacket, and began to write.

Simon,

I am sorry for all I have put you through. I realise that my approach has not always considered your feelings, and I sincerely apologise for that. I should have realised that I couldn't keep you a secret, nor should I.

In a sad attempt to be a kindness for you, I think its best to let you go. I wish nothing but happiness for you, but I think we both know you would never be able to be you with me. I don't blame you for pushing me away, and I respect you for it. I hold nothing but fond memories of our time together, but you should make more with someone who can give you everything you deserve and more.

I will always love you, I am sorry.

Wille

He reread what he had wrote, fighting back tears. This way, Simon's life would be easier. He would be able to live his life how he wanted it, away from the press. But the thought of himself living without Simon by his side made his lungs tighten and his head throb.

On another bit of paper in his coat pocket he wrote:

People of Sweden and across the world,

I have not been honest with you of late. I have said that people have the right to be gay or straight or whatever they want. That is something I believe in. However, I was lying to myself, and everyone, by not telling the whole truth.

I wish to confirm, without the influence of my family, that it was myself in the video leaked by a student at Hillerska Boarding School. I am gay. I wish to apologise for lying to the nation in my recent interview. I realise the damage this can do to people currently struggling with their sexuality. And to all those who feel unable to come out because of their family, friends, situation, whatever it may be, I want you to know you are not alone. Sometimes, doing the right thing isn't easy.

I ask for privacy at this time, and ask you respect the privacy of those around me. Crown Prince Wilhelm.

He had never been the best writer, and it definitely needed work, but the thought of sending this to every Goddamn newspaper in Sweden made him feel more in control of his own life than ever before. He thought of Simon, being able to hold him again, being able to show the whole world how amazing that boy is. 

But which would Simon actually want? Was he willing to change his life forever, and his family's life, for the sake of being with the Crown Prince?

Wille thought about it all for what could have been hours. His nose was red from the cold, his toes were numb. He put his hands into his pockets and thought about which one to choose. He felt a 10-krona coin. In that moment, he thought to let fate decide. He pulled it out of his pocket. With hesitation, he placed the coin on on his finger and flicked it high, catching it and it came back down and slamming it onto the back of his hand. Heads would mean choosing his family and leaving Simon. Tails would mean going to the press, blowing the whistle. With a shaky breath, he revealed the coin.