He Changed

My comfort zone

Big hit was now Hybe, new larger offices, the pandemic occurred as BTS enlisted, so although not over completely things were getting better. All the boys had enlisted at the same time hoping to be together but they had been split into different units, Suga and Tae in one , Jungkook and Hobi another and RM and Jin in another, Jimin was the only one on his own, something to do with not favouring celebrities together.Of course they had been worried about Jimin on his own but with him smilingly assuring them he'd be fine, they could meet up if days off coincided , the phone was always there , what could go wrong ?he said.
Now he knew..........
They were all meeting up at the new offices,Jimin was running late as he had refused the car offered by management to pick him up.
He got to the offices making his way to where they would meet, hushing with his finger to his lips the manager who was just about to greet him, before watching the boys from the door none of them having seen him yet.
"I tell you I can't wait for my hair to grow I look like a little boy!"
" Jungkook with all those muscles no one would mistake you for a little boy!"
"RM's right you've grown ,kook...we all look a bit different," Jin said .
"But your still worldwide handsome,eh Jin?"
"Of course Tae, although now you've matured a bit your not too bad yourself!"
"Jimin is probably the same, chubby cheeks big smile,laughing eyes ," Suga grinned.
Jimin frowned to himself, he knew he didn't look like that, he cleared his throat,"Ahem!"
"Jiminsheeeeee !", they all yelled, running to the boy, Jungkook automatically picking him up tight and swinging him around, until he heard Jimins gasp and pain appear on his face.He quickly put him down,"jimin?" He queried.
"Ah,Erm you know how clumsy I am, I tripped rolled down some concrete steps,ribs are a bit bruised."
"Shit, I'm sorry ,Jimin come sit down," jungkook dragged the boy to a chair and passed him some water.
"Ok ok ,don't fuss," he said sharply, then noticing the looks the boys gave each other he put his fake smile on and laughed," sorry I'm embarrassed at how clumsy I am."
The others laughed," haha you don't change Jimin," Tae said.
Jimin looked at his friends,eyes falling on Jungkook the love of his life, who just thought of him as a longtime friend.
"Soooo,Kookie, what's with all the muscles?"
Jungkook struck a pose in front of the small boy,really glad to see him he'd missed him the most.
"I am Jungkook,your protector," he said making his voice deep,causing the others to laugh while Jimin sadly thought ....where were you when I needed you Kookie?
Jungkook noticed the sad face and then took a good look at him.His face was thin and paler than normal faint dark circles around his eyes, his body looked slight,when he raised his arm to brush back his hair back even though it was short, he saw a faded bruise.
"How have you been Jimin?you look tired?"
"Oh me I haven't been sleeping well so excited to see you lot!" He exclaimed giving that smile again.
Their manager came in , welcoming them back and spoke about them relaxing for a few days,checking out media and their thoughts on doing radio and tv interviews.
"I wanna sleep for three days solid ,"Suga sighed.
"I need clothes," said Hobi.
"I think I'd like to ride my bike around, doing my own thing, seeing nature."
"Party,nightclub,bar," yelled Tae,Jin and Jungkook high giving each other.
Jimin stayed quiet.
"Hey, Jiminshee, what about you?"
" I just want to be with you guys doing whatever, I missed you, your my comfort zone," he said sincerely.
"Aw Jiminee that's so sweet," Hobi said going to hug him then remembered his ribs.
"I'll get the doctor to look at you Jimin check the damage," the manager said stepping forward,Jimin nodded worriedly.
"Right then boys we have a place for you all to start off with unless you decide to live elsewhere, it's a base,, it's large ,each of you have a room choose between yourselves, the van will take you all there now."

The dorm was large, they all except Jimin ran around like excited kids. Four hallways led off from the internal sitting room and adjoining kitchen, bedrooms with en suites down each one. Jimin traipsed down one hallway opening a door and putting his case on the bed.
" hey, Jiminshee , I chose the room opposite, we can have late night chats, cuddle like we used to."
"I'm sure you'll soon be finding someone in your life to cuddle, not someone like me,Kook," Jimin said dismissively .
Jungkook frowned, what was with the other boy, he was usually so full of life... maybe he was in pain he thought,"Jim .....", he stopped when he realised someone was standing there next to him," oh hi doc longtime no see, you here for Jimin?"
"Hi boys great to see you again,so Jimin can I take a look?"
"Jimin shall I help with your top?" Jungkook said rushing over.
" no Kook, leave........please?"
"Ok,Jiminee," he left frowning, he had a bad feeling that wouldn't go away.

"Jimin, this didn't come from falling down steps!!!someone punched you, who was it?"
"Does it matter?"
"Of course it matters!!tell me so we can sort this out, I can get them charged!"
Jimin laughed mirthlessly, " it doesn't matter, who cares what happened to me, it's over now and due to your medical oath you won't be saying anything to anyone ok?"
The doctor sighed," if that's what you want then I have to agree.....you look like shit Jimin, your too thin you have faded bruises, you need to take care of yourself" he did the bandages around Jimins ribs securely, before giving painkillers. Opening the door to leave he turned back to the boy," if you need counselling ...for whatever happened... please call me."
The small boy nodded...as if he thought....who could he talk to about it, who would care that the gay boy got queer bashed.

Jungkook stepped out of his room, he'd heard the doctors words and frowning he wondered what he meant.he knew, he just knew something had happened to Jimin, whatever it was he needed to find out. Out of all of them, Jimin was the one who had really changed and it wasn't a good change.

Jimin unpacked carefully his chest hurting, he got to a small pile of books, all but one filled. They were what had kept him going, his diaries written while in the military. Each one the outpourings of a boy faced with judgement and abuse , by writing it helped calm him in times of extreme distress, he hid them under his bed, he wanted to carry on writing his thoughts , hoping to see a change, not liking himself at the moment.

Everyone sat at the table eating and drinking, hours passed and each was getting a bit more inebriated. Talk went to their military service putting Jimin on edge, stories were told, funny things that happened, then RM said," what was the best thing about the army for each of you? Mine was being able to use my leadership skills, being put in charge under the commander."
" using my cooking skills in bulk " Jin laughed
"Like RM ,working my way up becoming fit," Jungkook said.
Tae thought," I quite liked all of it as it was varied," he said.
"I'm quite methodical not energetic, working in the offices suited me.," Suga sleepily said.
"I'm a bit like Tae, an all rounder."Hobi spoke.
Silence.
"Jimin?what did you like about the army?"
"Getting out," he murmured before getting up as quickly as he could""goodnight",.....leaving and going to his room, his friends looking worriedly after him,
"Something is wrong he's changed," a worried Jungkook said, they all nodded," leave him for now he's tired and obviously stressed, if he doesn't say anything in a few days we will try and find out, right I'm off to bed been a long day," RM said,they all nodded, tidied up and went to their rooms. Jungkook staring at the closed door to Jimins room.

Jimin washed up , he felt on edge not sure why but needed a release, he searched in his wash bag found the razor blade and sat down, turning the edge of his boxers down seeing the faint thin scars from before. He knew it was wrong but it was the only thing that made him feel in charge of his life, he drew the blade over his hipbone, leaving a small bleeding line, the sharpness causing a sharp intake of breath.he watched the blood drip down before staunching the flow with a damp cloth, drying it and finding a plaster putting it on then cleaning the blade putting it away. Then the sobs started, why , why did he do it, his body had taken enough abuse when would it stop!! He wept, tears streaming down his face for the innocent boy he'd been, believing the world was a lovely place,how wrong had he been.