Out of Mind and Into Oblivion

Love of my life

love of my life,

"Right person, wrong time." An idea so often associated with fiction i never thought i could relate. And then i met you. You turned my world upside down and with you, i was never lonely or sad. Falling in love with you was the easiest thing i have ever done. Staying in love proved to be much harder than i ever could've imagined but i loved you so much that i was willing to sacrifice much of myself for you. For us. They say ignorance is bliss and I never thought that to be true. You made me regret ever asking you for the truth. If i could go back and fix my mistake, God knows i would.

You left me with nothing. Not even closure. Just blurry eyes and a blank future. i've never wished bad things to happen on anybody, but for the first time in my life i hoped that one day, someone would hurt you the way you did hurt me. But i loved you so much that all i thought to say was, 'good luck and i wish you every happiness in the future'. i loved you with absolutely everything i had, so when you left i had to reconstruct myself entirely. You broke me, sweetheart. No one had ever hurt me the way you did. You left my life as quickly and as memorably as you came into it.

i like to think i've moved on now. i no longer catch myself thinking about you when i watch a marvel movie or when i grill a hot dog. i still love you and you'll always be a part of who i am and will be. But you were right, i am smart. i do deserve better than anything you could've given me. The occasional desire to cry in the bathtub the way i did back then does overwhelm me but i am stronger now, because of you. Make no mistake, you are the love of my life. We were perfect for each other but we loved each other too much to love each other right. It's a shame the universe chose the wrong time for us and the stars couldn't align.

goodbye my love.