Do you think that love can lessen, if you pretend it isn't there? Do you ever question what could have been if we dared?That's what was running on my mind as I stared at her coming back. I really wanted to jump up and down in excitement but I didn't want to make a fool out of myself, so I settled by only watching her every move.
I know I screwed up with her and all my friends was right when they said I fucked up big time for years.
I treated her in the way a girl shouldn't experienced from a guy like me. If only I could take back all the horrible words back, but the damage has been done and now I knew she hated me to the core.
She stopped a few feet from me, her eyes looking down on my face and I really wanted to ask why there's a redness in her eyes, but refrained myself from doing so. I didn't want to scare her on why I was putting her in a shocking development.
Imagine you've been bullied for years and only for that person to confess he liked you all along?
Unbelievable but it's real in my case.
Only God knows she had been in my mind all the time. I always had the biggest crush on her from the first time I noticed her at class but I never did anything about it until our class teacher arranged the seat and I got her as my seatmate for a week.
It was okay for a time, I got to class early in hopes of being the first person to greet her in the morning but it led me to know the group of Allan and they were interested in me suddenly after knowing how rich my family is. They wanted my connections.
I joined them - thinking they would benefit my status in school from nobody to a popular kid and as a naive highschooler who doesn't know any better, I obeyed everything Allan wanted me to do.
He forbid me from getting close to her and the only way I can get her attention without him getting suspicious is to bully her. I just couldn't stop my feelings for her even though I know my chances on her was going down to zero.
The first friends of mine to ever find out my issue with her in College was Heeseung and Sunghoon. They weren't supposed to but because a little boy named Yang Jungwon loved to exposed me in the wrong time, they found out.
And now Heeseung was always on my ears to remind me on why my terms of getting her is failing completely with 100% possibility of regret in the end. But what can I do? I just didn't expect for her to get closer with other guys like that Jake.
No matter what kinds of names I called her when he was there, he never stayed away. And boy was I angered by the fact she always run to him if I messed up so badly.
But then I kept hearing there were different guys coming out of her dorm room and I got really mad at once, only for me to hear it was for her dormmates. It didn't end there when I started pushing the ones showed signs of coming for her.
I know you're thinking I'm so unfair by wanting to only have her for myself but all I did is calling her names and making her feel small all the time. I just couldn't handle speaking to her like a normal person nowadays out of jealousy.
There's so many girl out there willing to be my girlfriend yet I hated all of them when the one I want looks at me with hatred which I caused.
And I knew I have to fix it one day or else she'll be taken away by someone else. I must really thank Mr. Song for partnering me up with her in time.
"If you forgot, I must remind you that it's getting late and I needed to be home before seven", Y/N said, breaking me out of my trance.
"Do you really need to get to that shitty dorm?", I asked, smirking.
"It's better there than to be at your company, Jay", she shot back. And just hearing my name from her mouth gave me goosebumps.
When I remained by my sitting spot stubbornly, she limped away from me and I got up to walk as well, laughing as she was heading im the wrong direction.
"Wait.. Keep going that way and you'll get lost!", I informed her.
"What?", she mumbled, certainly embarassed.
I laughed at her face when she turned around and I raised an eyebrow, "Think you can leave here without me?"
"Can we just go back now? I have an assignments to do!", she yelled in frustration, making me wonder why she always raises her voice at my expense.
"Well, follow me now", I gestured for her to walk in the other direction we came from, "And little girl, if you got lost here, it wouldn't be my fault. I would cheer you on if my parents told me there was trespasser in our property"
I said it with a smirk and stayed a couple feet away from her, so she won't hit me. Y/N looks ready to take some punch even if her smaller figure wouldn't even allow her to reach my jaw.
"Shut up, Jay!", she yelled once again and I could picture cursing me completely in her head.
⚋
We were only half way through our walk before we reached the barb wires when I heard her let out a huff and I ignored it at first, thinking she was just being dramatic.
Until she speak out to me.
"You know you can help a girl out who was injured in the first place because of you", she said to me, sounding so hesitant.
"Let me think about it", I pretended to tap my finder under my chin, "I don't think so"
"And you said you'll be going to be nice from now on", she mumbled under her breath.
"Can you please say that loudly so that I can hear?"
"I said you're the nicest guy this world had ever seen", she said, her voice laced with nothing but frustration.
I didn't acknowledge her comment about me and continued to walk, I deserve it so why should I react?
We reached my motorcycle and this time, I helped her with everything from the helmet to settling properly in the seat even though her face looks so sour whenever I caught her eye.
The whole ride to her dorm was uneventful given that she doesn't want to talk. Not even answering if I asked her questions. I assumed this will be our scenario from now on if I didn't stop being a jerk to her.
Once we were at the gates of her dorm, she got off and gave me the extra helmet without looking at my eyes. She cleared her throat and looked down, making me wait in anticipation.
"Today was rather confusing to me and in a bad way", she said before she quickly tried to enter inside but I stopped her.
"Despite of that, you'll still go to my house to help with the project, right?", I asked hopefully.
"Of course, my grades is at stake there", she rushed the words out before entering and running up the stairs to her dorm room upstairs.
I only chuckle slightly at her speed to get away from me. I don't know what got into me but I stayed there for a moment and maybe I was waiting for her to peek from the balcony to take one last glimpse of me.
But she never did.
It's true though even after all the bullying I had done and the wishes I tried to forget about her, I just always had an unrequited feelings for her and it hurts more now.
And I'm pretty sure we can't ever be together, accepting me would be the least choice she'll consider. But it doesn't mean that I shall never try. I could still try it out.
Feeling sad because of my thoughts, I got back to my motor and decided to take my leave. I heard someone coming from behind me before hearing the footsteps halted.
"Jay, what are you doing out here?", the question I should be asking as well to my friend, Lee Heeseung.
From what I know, his house was too far from here to be walking normally in this area.
Not unless he was visiting someone in this girl's dormitory.
⚊
How was Jay's point of view for the first time? Is it okay?
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Breaking The Bully ⚊ Enhypen Jay
FanfictionShe thought going to college that she'll finally escape the nightmare of highschool. But it's proven wrong as her long time bully was there too, a bully she can't deny she have feelings for. And there's Park Jay who is rich and popular other than be...