I was nervous. I had to admit that I didn't think I would be but I was after I left Jay's unit in a rush.When I messaged Heeseung that I'm already available without saying anything why, he said that he was already waiting for me at his door. As it turns out, his unit was just right beside Jay's and there he was.
His back was turned towards me so he couldn't see me approach or the way I was doubting my choices all of a sudden.
How did I go from only going to my friends's houses to visiting two guy's houses at once?
My mom would kill me if she ever hears about this.
I made my way towards Heeseung slowly. He still hadn't noticed me when I was standing behind him. I tapped him on the shoulder and he turned around to face me. He looked sort of nervous as well.
"I thought you were going to stand me up", he admitted with a slight smile.
"Why?", I asked, tilting my head to the side with a smile, "If I had stood you up then everything would be awkward and that's a no for me. Especially if you helped me before and I wanted to leave Jay -"
He cut me off. But not with his words. His lips slanted over mine the moment the name Jay had left my lips. It was a peck and no more than that. But even so it was enough to silence me.
Heeseung pulled back and I looked up at him in surprise, "What was that?"
"I don't want to hear his name leave your mouth for today", he said as an explanation.
My eyebrows shot up in surprise when I heard his words. This was still Lee Heeseung, right?
"Are you feeling alright?", I asked him even though I'm not a bit mad to him, "I mean, Jay is your friend -"
He kissed me again. This one lasting longer than the first and he seemed to hesitate for a while. When he did pull back though, he looked down at me with an eyebrows raised, his eyes dancing in amusement.
"Are you going to say his name again?", he asked quietly, not having put much space between the two of us.
I shook my head and he laughed quietly, "I didn't expect for you to pull that move, but I can't say that I didn't like it"
"I'm sorry. I just got carried away", he said as he pulled away from me more and smiled down at me. I bit down on my bottom lip.
"By the way, I've got to get out of here because Jay..", I paused as he raised an eyebrow at me and I cleared my throat, "Maybe we could go somewhere else?"
"Let's go inside then", he said then gestured for me to enter his dorm while not sensing that he was looking behind us before the door had even closed.
There was a moment of silence as I roamed my eyes over the living room, the front of the Tv was full of game consoles and a pile of albums in the side. It was quite clean everywhere you look.
When I took a seat by the couch, there was a pause where everything suddenly felt peaceful and quiet. As it could be expected, there were so many bears around and a gigantic one was laying in one of the loveseat.
Despite that he didn't look like it, Heeseung acted surprisingly soft.
"Not to ask the obvious question, but why here?", I asked. He and I now sat together watching a movie as it gets late in the night.
He took a sip of his kombucha and grabbed my hand in his, "I'm not sure how can I act comfortably outside. In here, at least, I could feel more of myself"
As he talked, he bobbed his head back and forth to the music, even though the song was kind of a ballad.
"So instead of being outside, I choose to be here. Plus, we would not be disturb by anyone", he said, smiling, "Not that you needed to worry, I'm not going to do anything with you. I made a promise to my mom"
"Are you and your parents close?", I asked him interestedly.
He smiled with the right side of his mouth, "More than I would admit to. And I have a brother who always teased me about me not getting a girl for my shyness"
I laughed, "And now you're out here kissing a girl without a warning", I said, smiling, "So congratulations!", he stopped the bobbing of his head and let go of my hand.
"I wouldn't repeat it again, I promise", he said seriously, his eyes on mine like I knew the way out and I wouldn't tell him.
And then he seemed to switch into another conversation.
Heeseung talked softly and thoughtfully, like he was telling me a secret and I listened to every bit of it, suddenly overwhelmed with the feeling that I must stay in his side. And I would have, but then he was leaning closer to my face until it became necesarry for me to tilt my head to the side to snap him out of it.
This was all going too fast for me.
"Sorry", he said, and I couldn't tell at first if he had managed to read my mind.
He turned away from me, and softly maybe to himself, said, "Jesus, I'm not going to be one of those guys who invited girls in their house to do this. It's not just me...I'm sorry"
"That's okay", I said, and was thankful that it didn't happen. "We should take things slow"
He widens his eyes at me, "Do you agree with me to see where this leads between us?"
I nodded happily, "I want to see where this goes. You're really interesting, Heeseung"
I guess that made sense. I had imagined once that it would be exciting for Jay to like me - in reality, there'd been more hatred for him than feelings - but if I hadn't imagined it, I would have never gotten to consider Heeseung at all.
Heeseung turned back to the TV, a commercial for BTS now, and he was smiling the whole time it was focused to the members.
Then he said, "I looked up to them. Their story was inspiring compared to the other groups out there"
But I wanted to talk more about him and what's happening between us and the tommorow.
"I don't get you today, Heeseung", I said to him.
He didn't even glance at me. He just smiled toward the television and said, "You'll get to know me soon. That's the whole point"
It was ridiculous, I thought, to have a slight fluttering in my stomach like a small child who had found her easter egg.
To the other people they will say that I'm just not used to it, but to me, however, it was an opening, a sliver of hope to fully move on from Jay.
Although not now. Not today. But soon.
Soon, I will not care about him anymore.
⚊
what do you think about her and Heeseung?
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Breaking The Bully ⚊ Enhypen Jay
FanfictionShe thought going to college that she'll finally escape the nightmare of highschool. But it's proven wrong as her long time bully was there too, a bully she can't deny she have feelings for. And there's Park Jay who is rich and popular other than be...