Hush Little Baby Don't You Cry

Pain

       The boys went on a couple of missions as I recovered. I told Steve that I would be joining the second the doctor said it was okay. He tried to persuade me not to but I insisted. The 3 of us always stick together when Steve went off fighting. Hunting down hydra bases together wouldn't be too different.
      It may have been by the pure determination to fight with them that my leg healed faster than normal. At least that's what I keep telling myself. But deep down I knew that it wasn't. But I decided to ignore it. I was too excited to go with Steve and Bucky. Together we took down Hydra bases throughout Europe for 2 years. It was fun. The keyword being was.
      "Why did they have to be in a cold climate with a thousand mountains?" I grumbled. The three of us stood on the edge of a cliff, Steve on my left Bucky on my right. The Howling Commandos were setting up equipment behind us.
      "I thought you liked the snow," Bucky commented
"Yeah not when I'm standing on a 1,000ft cliff of it freezing to death." I cupped my hands and blew into them, trying to keep them warm. Bucky walked over and grabbed them. He covered my small hands with his large ones and started to rub them.
       "This keeping them warm, Dove?"
       "Yeah, thanks, Bunny."
      "Seriously guys. One mission. That's all I ask." Steve pleaded. Bucky and I laughed. I made eye contact with Steve and kissed Bucky on the cheek. Steve made a face of disgust and I laughed again. He rolled his eyes and turned away.
      "Your just jealous" I quipped. Steve turned to rebuttal but was interrupted.
      "You were right Captain. Dr. Zola is on the train." Gabe, one of the Commandos informed.                 "Hydra dispatchers just gave permission to open up the throttle. Wherever's he's going they must need him bad."
       "Alright. Gear up." Steve put on his helmet and moved towards the line that was strung from our side of the cliff over the train tracks.
       "You heard him, boys." We grabbed our gear and got ready to slide down the line.
        "Get going cause they're moving like the devil." Another, James, said. I looked over to see the train moving at high speeds. Well, this will be fun.
       Steve hooked his gear on first. "We only got a 10-second window. You miss that window, were bugs on a windshield."
        "Sounds delightful," I said sarcastically.
        "Better get moving bugs!" Dum Dum called out. Steve waited until Jim gave him the all-clear. Once he did, he was off. I quickly strapped on and followed suit. Bucky came up behind me and we all landed on the train. We scampered across the top and scaled-down a ladder. Once inside the train, Bucky closed the door. It was quiet inside the train. Suspiciously quiet.
        We stalked through the corridors, looking for the scientist. When we reached an opening connecting two train cars, two doors slammed shut. Separating Steve and me from Bucky.
       "Bucky!" I watched as Bucky turned and fired at an unknown figure. There was a whirring sound behind us and we turned to see a huge metal suit aim at us.
       "Y/n get down!" I ducked and fell to the side just as it fired at us. I ducked behind creates and aimed at the machine. I fired but the bullets just bounced off. While it was distracted by me,  Steve took the opportunity to rush it and slam his shield against it. That seemed to work as it didn't move again after that. I rushed to the door and tried to push it open. No use.
        "Y/n move." I turned to see Steve aiming the machine's gun at the door and stepped to the side. He fired at the door and that seemed to work. I pushed it open with some help from Steve. We ran through and looked through the window. Bucky was still firing at the hydra agents. And by the looks of it, he just ran out of bullets. I noticed Steve pull out his gun and he gave me a nod. I raised mine and waited. Steve elbowed the door, causing it to open, and I fired. Clean kill.
     I immediately pocketed the gun and ran to Bucky's side. I bent down in front of him and looked him all over for injuries.
       "Are you alright, Bunny?" He nodded.
     "Yeah. Are you, Dove?" He said in a voice that shook in the slightest bit. I nodded and he stood up.
      "Don't mind me guys I'm doing great," Steve said. We smiled and I was about to comment back when the whirring sound happened again. Steve pulled us behind him and held up his shield.
      "Get down!" He screamed. The force of the blast knocked Steve and me to one side and Bucky to another. My head immediately started to pound. I looked up right as I saw Bucky pick up the shield and raise his gun at the machine. The machine whirred again and fired, sending Bucky flying out of the train through a newly torn hole.
      "Bucky!" Steve and I screamed. I raced to the hole as Steve took care of the hydra machine. I looked out to see Bucky clinging onto a bar that was barely connected to the train.
     "Bucky hold on! I'm coming!" I found some sturdy footholds and made my way over. As I got closer I reached my hand out as far as possible. It wasn't enough.
     "Reach! Reach Bunny reach." He leaned out and almost touched my fingertips. And then the bar collapsed.
     "BUCKY! NO!"
     And Bucky fell, screaming.
      And I screamed with him. For him. I watched the spot he dropped so intently I didn't realize Steve was calling my name until he had me in his arms. I looked at Steve and the tears in his eyes and broke. We sobbed into each other for what felt like an eternity.
      When we got back Steve left to go do his report but immediately came back. We dared not to leave each other's side. We never do when tragedy struck our family. We blindly walked down a bombed town and entered a bar. We found ourselves a table, Steve found some alcohol, and we just sat.
       All I could keep thinking was "He was right there. I could have leaned more. Could have jumped forward. Could have. Could have. Should have" The tears flowed again and I drank straight from the bottle. Not bothering to find a glass.
     I never heard Peggy come in until I noticed her sit down next to me. She stayed silent for a bit before speaking softly.
     "It wasn't your guy's fault." We both scoffed.
     "Did you read the report?" Steve asked.
     "Yes."
     "Then you know that's not true." and I had no heart to disagree. I do not blame Steve though. How could I? Not when I was the one closest to him when he fell.
     "Y/n. Your hand." I looked down and realized that my tight grip on the bottle's neck had shattered it. Tiny trickles of blood dripped down my hand and onto the glass. I opened my hand and let the glass shards fall onto the table. I was about to pick the shards out of my hand when a hand grabbed my wrist. I looked up at Peggy and she shook her head. Just looking into her eyes caused me to break down again.