Love is Blind.

Chapter four: The white rose.

On the night Alyssa slept for the first time in over a week, she had a dream. In her dream she saw a patch of roses. All in beauty and splendor. Each rose colored to perfection. Tall and brightly colored. But in the middle was the most beautiful rose of the whole patch. Standing taller than the rest. Its color was pure white. The rose was without thorns, but not defenseless. It was guarded by a red spiky rose that wrapped around the pure rose. Alyssa stood, staring at the roses and how beautiful they are . Then Tom appeared from behind Alyssa and put his arm around her shoulder. And smiled saying; "I will always love you." A tear rolled down her face and she smiled. She stared into his eyes not relizing he wasn't real and it was all a dream.. Then came a worm that bit down and devoured the rose that protected the pure one. Once the rose was completely devoured, Tom started to walk away and disappear. Alyssa chased him, and tried to grab him screaming; "Please don't leave me again! Please I love you!" But Richard continued walking not even turning to speak a response. She swung her fist at him to try and knock him out and drag him back. But her hand passed through Tom's head disfiguring it but soon being returned to its normal shape. The white rose began to become discolored. Its white began fading to brown. Its stalk grew big black thorns. The flower became weak and withered to nearly nothing. As her dream faded away she woke up in a sweat. She looked at her clock. It was 3:00 A.M. The memories of Tom came flooding back to her once again. The more she thought about him the more she wished she wasn't alive. The more she wished she didn't have to take care of Richard.

She hated her life and herself. She thought of ways to escape. But only two came to her mind. She could either kill herself, or drink the pain away. She wished greatly Richard wasn't around so she could take her life. The pain of the loss consumed her. She wanted it to go away. She got up out of her bed, and walked down to the kitchen. The kitchen was in view to Richards's room. She reached into the refrigerator and pulled out a bottle of whiskey. She looked at Richard's room, with tear rolling down her eyes like a water fall. She poured her first shot, one after another after another after another. After about three shots she brought her shot glass and bottle to her bedroom. As she looked at her bed flash backs of him came flooding in again. In rage she threw the glass against the wall and drank the whiskey straight out of the bottle. She had never before drunken any alcohol and after about twenty minutes of swishing down the burning drink, she lost memory of him and passed out on her bed.

She woke up to a knock on her door the next morning nauseas and hung over greatly. Once again she looked at the clock. The time was 9:00 A.M.  

"What do you want!?" she screamed at the person knocking.

"Mommy is there school today? I think we are late."

When she realized what time it was and how late they were she said; " You aren't going to school today go to bed!" and she threw the pillow at the door.

"But mommy I need breakfast I'm hung-."

"TAKE A NAP YOU CAN EAT BREAKFAST LATER!" she screamed.

There was a long silence then Richard opened up the door and sat down next to his mothers bed.

"Mommy, are you upset because daddy left us?"

"Daddy didn't leave us Richard. Daddy died. He is gone and I can't have him back. That's why I am upset."

Over time Alyssa became addicted to the drinking. Her pain was closer to fading away after every drop, every sip, and every night she passed out throwing up. Every time she would get drunk and lay with another man. Every time she tried a new drug. The white rose faded to black.

                Most of the time Richard was left to fend for himself, and take care of the house by himself. This usually meant destroying all the hidden drugs and cleaning the entire house. Some nights his mom would come home with another man just to be date raped. She was treated like nothing but a tool. Except for Richard, she was his only mother, his only family he had ever really known. He needed her for the few precious hours that she was ever sober, his life seemed ok. He didn't have to search for someone to talk to. She was there for him. But the pain of her loss was to great for her, she was never sober long.

                Over time Richard became socially deprived. He would spend many hours of his recess alone. Nobody would ever play with him because he reeked of the smell of alcohol, because he had to find his own clothing. Many of his clothes were ragged and old. His heart was pure, but he became very depressed. He would search for a friend but people would despise him. The other kids at the play ground would avoid him. He would sit at the back of the class alone. The desks that surrounded him would scoot away from him. He would go home to clean and tuck his mother in bed after passing out on some kind of drug. He had to walk to and from school. He had no ride. His mom would never be sober enough to set up a bus route.

                Every night he would pray for just one friend. All he wanted was one person he could talk to and be friends with. His life was shattered and bruised. But he believed in his prayers.

"Dear god,

My mommy isn't doing very well. I don't think she knows that daddy is in a better place. I wish for her to be happy. I love my mommy and need her allot.

And also, could you please send me a friend? Please? Just one friend is all I want. I promise I will be nice to them. My mommy loves me but she can't be a friend. They don't even have to be a human. I want anything, anybody. Send me a person or an animal. Maybe even an angel? Please dear lord send me a friend.

With all the trust and love I have for you Jesus, amen."

And richard believed that prayer greatly.And he prayed it every night before he went to sleep and every morning after he woke up. But, not one ever came to him. He felt, was, alone in the world. Alyssa slowly faded away from the title of mother. Richard watched over the years as his own mother slowly died away.